


Pieces

by shannyfish



Series: Count Me In [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Astra's Death, Danvers Sisters, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-24 00:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6135253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex can't hold in the truth any longer and finally comes clean to Kara about Astra's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alex: Double Edged Sword

_ "A broken heart will heal.  A broken soul will not." _

  
  


_ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* _

  
  
  


"Kara, I need you to sit down," Alex said gently, determined to tell her sister the truth.  There had been so many times that she'd tried to tell Kara the truth or had _ almost _ told her, only to be interrupted.  The guilt weighed heavily upon her and it felt like it was crushing her, it only made her worry all the more of what Kara's reaction would be...especially given how she'd been treating J'onn (thinking that he was the one who had killed Astra).  

 

Kara's sunny smile dropped suddenly, likely from seeing the look on her face.  Alex currently felt like throwing up, but she was determined to get out what she was going to say first.  "Alex, what is it?" Kara asked slowly, concern creeping into her voice.

 

Alex was fidgeting with her hands and had started to pace in the space of a few feet before motioning to the couch.  She was doing this at Kara's apartment because she figured it would be easier.  That way if Kara hated her, she could just leave...that was what she was _ really  _ worried about... _ losing Kara _ ...Kara hating her.  "Please...you need to sit for this."   
  
"Alex?"

 

She didn't argue, Kara instead just sat and Alex hadn't missed the fact that her sister hadn't taken her eyes off of her.  Kara was worried, but so was Alex.  "There's something I should have told you weeks ago…"

 

"Okay," Kara said slowly.  "So, tell me  _ now _ ."

 

"You're going to be  _ upset  _ with me.  I didn't want to keep this secret from you, Kara," Alex told her.  She shook her head, trying to come up with the right words.  She was really struggling to keep her emotions in check.  Alex kept reminding herself to breathe whenever it felt like her emotions were going to flood.  "J'onn didn't want you to think  _ less _ of me…"

 

" _ Less _ ?" Kara questioned, even more confused.  "Alex, I could never think less of you." 

 

But she was wrong.

 

Her sister's words had been full of sincerity, but she didn't know the truth.  If Kara knew that Alex had killed Astra, Alex didn't think Kara would say the same things.  J'onn had told Alex that she was Supergirl's hero...that she was Kara's hero...and that she shouldn't take that away.  The thing was, this was  _ her sister _ and Alex couldn't keep lying to her.  What she'd done, it had been to protect J'onn, to keep Astra from killing him.  She just couldn't keep doing this.   
  
Kara  _ had _ to know the truth.

 

"J'onn didn't kill Astra," Alex said slowly and gently as she looked into her sister's big blue eyes.  Her hands shook as she held the in front of her and her voice nearly broke as the confession spilled out of her.  " _ I did _ ."  For a moment, she let it sink in, for both of them.  She saw the change in Kara's eyes, confusion was running rampant right now.  "It was a heated moment," Alex tried to explain.  "We'd  _ just _ gotten you back from the Black Mercy."  She paused, swallowing down the emotion that was still trying to push its way to overwhelm her.  "Astra tried to kill J'onn,  _ she was going to _ ...and I did it to  _ save _ him," Alex explained.  "J'onn didn't want you to hate me...not after I'd just gotten you back.  That's why he said that he'd killed her."  

 

Kara seemed still confused.  "But…"

 

"I didn't want to keep lying and I kept trying to tell you...and it was either too hard because you'd just gotten to a happy point or something came up like Non appearing here or J'onn told me not to.  He was trying to protect you, to protect me, to protect us both.  He didn't want this to tear us apart, but I couldn't keep lying about this…"

 

J'onn had told over the past weeks that Astra's death had been the only choice and Alex had struggled with that.  If J'onn hadn't shown up, she thought that perhaps she could have gotten Astra to come back with them, to be on their side.  Kara had broken her heart after Astra's death when she'd brought up missing her aunt, how  _ she'd _ hoped to sway Astra to their side of things if she hadn't been killed first.  There was that possibility that hung there, something that would never be answered now.  Alex knew that J'onn had been there because he was trying to protect her and that they were all so much more emotionally charged than normal because of having almost losing them both to the Black Mercy and then getting them back (getting Kara back).  

 

"Astra was the only family I had left from Krypton," Kara whispered slowly, seemingly still in shock over the new information.  

 

That's one of the reasons why Alex had beaten herself so much about it.  Even though Astra wasn't one of the 'good guys', Alex knew that Kara had feelings for her (even if she wouldn't tell Alex about all of them).  No matter what, Astra was still her aunt, and Alex knew that it couldn't be easy for Kara that Astra also looked exactly like Alura.    

 

"How...how could you _ do _ this?" 

 

She'd been waiting for that response or something similar, there was understandable anger leaking into Kara's voice now.  Alex moved closer and crouched down in front of her sister, she reached out and took Kara's hand as she stared at her.  "Kara," she whispered gently.  "I didn't  _ want _ to.  Astra was going to _ kill  _ J'onn--"

 

"She was  _ my aunt _ , Alex!" Kara argued as she yanked her hand back.  " _ My family _ !"  

 

Alex waited and watched her sister, it was heartbreaking and Alex tried to hold it together.  Right now, Kara was the one who deserved to break down, not her.  Tears filled Kara's bright blue eyes and Alex knew that she should have told her earlier...that she should have pushed the truth out when it had first happened.  "Kara, I'm--"

 

"I don't even want to _ look  _ at you right now!" Kara shouted as tears erupted in full force.  

 

Alex heard what Kara was saying and what she was feeling was completely expected, but her sister's words still hurt.  Slowly, Alex gave her a nod before getting to her feet and taking a step back.  " _ I'm sorry _ ," Alex whispered sincerely.   _ It wasn't enough. _  It would  _ never _ be enough.  She didn't know what else to say.  All she wanted to do was to hug Kara, to comfort her sister, but she knew that that wasn't what Kara wanted or needed.  

 

That just made it worse.

 

"Please, _ just go _ ," Kara pleaded through tears.  "I just, I can't…  I can't believe that you and J'onn  _ lied _ about this…  I can't deal with  _ either _ of you."

 

She couldn't argue.  Not with that.  With any of it.  At least Kara was telling her what she needed and wanted, even if what she needed/wanted was killing Alex to comply with.   _ Normally, _ Alex was the one who hugged her and told her that it was going to be okay, but right now... _ she _ was the one who was causing Kara pain.     
  
"Okay," she finally said in a whisper.  Alex backed up, still watching her sister.  She knew that she didn't deserve it, but Alex hoped for Kara to forgive her...but that, _ if _ it happened, would have to come in time.  It was breaking her heart to leave her sister like that, it was heart wrenching.  

 

Collecting her things, Alex headed out of Kara's apartment.  She made it down the hall and into the stairwell before breaking down.  Sliding down the wall at the top of the stairs, she crumpled onto the concrete step and just let the tears pour out of her.  

 

She knew that she couldn't sit there forever, but she just needed to dump the emotions that had bottled up inside of her before heading home.  She didn't want to be sobbing and a danger out there driving home.  Honestly, Alex didn't know if she wanted to go home...not now.  Alex felt like she needed to keep moving, like maybe if she kept moving she wouldn't dwell on the fact that she'd just broken her sister's heart with the truth.  

 

The truth was sometimes a double edged sword.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The night was cold, almost bittingly so.  Alex hadn't been prepared for the crisp weather, she was wearing what she'd worn to the DEO, which meant that her jacket was a thin one that was basically a glorified long sleeve shirt.  She was suddenly regretting leaving her black leather jacket behind in her vehicle earlier that she'd left parked outside of Kara's apartment building.  She moved her fingers, rolling them up into a fist and then straightening them again over and over again, trying to keep them warm as she continued to move.  Her feet felt like ice, but she kept walking.  

 

"Alex."

 

She stopped at her name and looked back to see J'onn standing behind her as Hank Henshaw.  Alex hated to look weak in front of him especially, even though she felt like she didn't have to be so strong...not since learning the truth...not since he'd claimed her and Kara as honorary daughters.  Right now, she just didn't want to break down again.  "It's late."

 

"It's also cold," he pointed out as he moved towards her.  He was dressed in all black, like he'd been when she'd seen him earlier in the day and was dressed in short sleeves.  He actually looked like he was more likely to freeze than she was.  A beat passed between him and he stopped about a foot away from her.  "I got your note...and I assume that you've already talked to your sister."

 

"She…" Alex started, not looking right at him.  It was still hard to think about Kara as she spoke.  Her sad, confused, and then devastated face kept hitting Alex.  It was hard.  Normally, her sister was so happy, bright, and cheery.  That was why it was so heartbreaking to see her sister in any other way, especially when Alex was the one who caused the upset.  "She...didn't take it well."

 

"I assumed that when I didn't find you at Kara's...or at your apartment.

 

"Did you see her?"

 

J'onn gave a silent nod.  

 

Staring at him, she knew.  J'onn had to have seen Kara broken down.  "I think I broke her heart."

 

"Alex--"

 

"I shouldn't have lied to her for so long!  I shouldn't have let you protect me like that!" Alex told him, getting angry.  

 

He was silent for a moment.  Alex had learned how to read his emotions and she knew that he felt bad for being a part of this upset.  She still understood his motives, but that didn't make it easy.  "She will forgive you."

 

"I don't know that she will."

 

And she didn't.

 

It would be easier if Alex knew that Kara  _ would  _ forgive her, but this was Astra.  "What if she doesn't?"

 

" _ She will, _ " he insisted.

 

"How can you be so sure?"

 

"She's your  _ sister _ ."

 

"But Astra was  _ her aunt _ ...the only family  _ blood related _ she had left.  Her  _ last real connection _ to Krypton...and _ I _ took that away."

 

"To save _ me _ ."

 

Alex's voice broke and tears fell again, she didn't even care in that moment if he saw her cry.  "I was starting to get through to Astra before you got there--"

 

"Do you blame me?"

 

"No," Alex said quickly, not even thinking about it.  "I just...I keep thinking about what happened.  I keep thinking that there could have been another way."   She paused for a moment, not wanting to say what she was going to say, but knowing that it was something that needed to be discussed.  "I just...I don't understand why you were there."

 

J'onn just stared at her for a moment, almost like he was confused.  "What do you mean?"

 

"I mean that I was getting through to Astra...and then you showed up--"

 

"I was there to  _ help _ ," J'onn told her.  "We had Kyptonians all over National City and I was there to back you up.  If I had known that Astra would respond in a way where she'd give up...or even just walk away, don't you think that I would have stayed away?  The last thing that I wanted was to be any part of causing you or Kara any pain."

 

And she knew that.

 

"You're too protective of me," she accused.

 

"Maybe."

 

She looked up at him, almost surprised that he admitted it.  "I can take care of myself--"

 

"Normally, I'd agree with you," J'onn told her gently.  "But that night, we were facing Non and his people...and we'd just almost lost _ both  _ of you."  He paused for a moment.  "I wasn't about to lose you because you didn't have back up."

 

What he said made sense and she didn't blame him, but it was just hard to think that she'd lost her relationship with Kara.  J'onn touched her shoulder and she just stared at him through her tears.  "You didn't see her…  This was so much worse than how I saw her right after Astra died," Alex whispered, pain running deep in her voice.  "It was like I ran that kryptonite sword through  _ her _ ."

 

"Let her have time to process," J'onn told her gently and pulled her against his chest, wrapping arms around her.  Alex didn't tense or resist and actually found it incredibly comforting.  She'd realized suddenly again how cold she was as he warmed her as he held her.  J'onn was the only one that she could really talk to about this, that could be there for her like this.  It also made her miss her dad so much.  She knew that he would hug her and say the right things, he'd also go to Kara and try to talk to her.  "Let her grieve again."  He was quiet for a long time as he held her.  "And then let her come to you...when she's ready.  Right now, we just have to respect her wishes."

 

"That's not going to be as easy as it seems."

 

"I know."

 

Silence passed.

 

"Let me walk you home?" J'onn finally asked.

 

Alex almost didn't want to let go, but he was right.  She didn't even know how long she'd been walking, what time it was.  All she knew was that it was late and she was freezing.  "Okay," she agreed after a beat passed between them.  

 

They separated and headed silently in the direction of Alex's apartment.  

  
  


*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Her phone buzzed.

 

Alex didn't want to look at it, instead she rolled her head to the side to look at the clock on her nightstand.  Groaning, she covered her eyes and wished that she'd seen a much earlier time.  She almost felt like she was hung over, by the time on the clock...it certainly seemed like that would have been a reasonable explanation.  She'd been exhausted when she'd gotten home, instead of taking a hot shower to warm up, she'd just crawled under a mountain of blankets and waited for her body to warm up so that she could finally sleep.  As that time passed, she'd only thought of Astra's death and the devastated look on Kara's face.

 

Her phone buzzed again.

 

Reaching out, she grabbed it and turned it over to see that J'onn was texting her.  She'd been hoping and yet dreading that it was a text from Kara.  Normally, she would have gotten up hours ago.  Alex had a fairly normal routine, but not today.  Half of the day had been wasted and she didn't even feel fully rested.  

 

Her phone buzzed again.

 

Sighing, Alex ran her hand over her face.  J'onn had texted her again asking if she was okay.  The first one had been asking her to come into work early.  She really just didn't want to face reality.  She knew that going into the DEO wasn't going to help her memories, it was only going to remind her of everything.

 

The infirmary where they'd tried to remove the Black Mercy from Kara.

 

The armory which held the kryptonite sword she'd used to kill Astra.

 

All she wanted to do was to call out sick.  To avoid the DEO, J'onn, and Kara...at least today.  Didn't she deserve that?  On the other hand, she knew that work and keeping busy might also distract her from her thoughts in general.  

 

The phone buzzed again.

 

Sighing, Alex looked at it.  She was fairly sure that J'onn was really concerned about her.  It probably didn't help that his phone likely was set to tell him that she'd already received and seen it...and hadn't responded.  Taking a moment to breathe, she texted him back that she had overslept and that she'd be in once she got a shower and dressed.  Alex didn't even feel like eating.  She just wanted to get through the day, so that she could go home and hide under her covers and pretend like the world wasn't all going to crap.

 

The phone buzzed again.

 

He was telling her that she didn't need to come in if she needed a day.  She did and she didn't.  Instead of telling him that, though, Alex just told him that she needed to keep busy and that she'd be in.  Setting the phone on her nightstand again, she forced herself out of bed and moved to the shower.  

 

Alex took her time in the scalding hot shower, feeling like she needed the heat from it to actually absorb into her body in order for her to be functional.  Even when she was starting to feel more human, she still had to will herself to move from the shower and to eventually get dressed.  She wasn't going to eat, she decided.  Alex still felt just as nauseous as she had the night before.  

 

Going to collect her phone, she stopped when she noticed that she had a missed call along with a slew of missed messages.

 

J'onn had texted her four times.  

 

Her mother had called.

 

Kara had texted.

 

Sucking in a deep breath, she read J'onn's texts first.  It was just stuff to bring her up to speed so she'd know what was going on when she got there.  There was a lot of prisoner things that the DEO was apparently doing for the day, maintenance and cleaning.  It wasn't exciting, but it was necessary and they'd had too many problems in the past with escapes.  Alex wondered if J'onn was planning for her to be kept busy all day, but either way...this was part of her job.

 

Her mother could wait, at least until she checked the text from Kara.

 

Preparing herself, Alex sat on the edge of her unmade bed and took a moment before looking down at her phone.  She opened Kara's text and tried not to jump to conclusions.  Kara had told her that she appreciated that there were no more secrets between them, but that there shouldn't have been in first place...and that she needed space and time.  

 

Kara hated space and time.

 

So did Alex.

 

This was going to be so hard.  How could she do her job giving Kara space and time?  Was National City and the DEO going to be without the help of Supergirl in that period of time?  She was going to have to talk to J'onn, though, she doubted that he'd be surprised.  Alex supposed that she should just take some solace in the fact that Kara had actually made contact and hadn't just ignored her.  So, Alex took a moment and just acknowledged that she'd gotten the text with an 'okay, take all the time you need'.  Alex knew that that was the right response, but she hated to think about how long that might take her sister.

 

Her mother.

 

Alex couldn't bring herself to call her mother back, not yet.  Had she sensed that there was something wrong?  Even though Kara adored Eliza Danvers, Alex didn't think that she would have called and told her what had happened.  They were trying to keep her mother safe, which meant trying not to involve her whenever it was possible (which so far, wasn't more than letting her know that Alex was part of the DEO now).  It just wasn't necessary and they couldn't risk it.

 

Instead, she just shot off a quick text to her mother telling that she'd call her later, that she was busy at work.  It was a lie, but it wouldn't be soon enough.  She didn't want her mother to think that something was up and press, mainly just because Alex didn't want to have to actually talk about it (in any way).  Sighing, she texted J'onn to let him know that she was leaving her apartment.  

 

The day was starting and Alex just hoped that it swept by quickly.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"I know why you did that."

 

"Did what?"

 

Alex stared at him while they walked before she replied.  "We'd planned to do the cleaning of the containment cells _ next _ week."

 

"It's not calendared."

 

She allowed a small smile.  It had been a huge distraction and it had kept her busy, making the day pass quickly and without too much dwelling.  "Actually, it is."

 

"Well," J'onn replied with a huff and went quiet.     
  
"Thank you," she said before he could think of something else to say.  Alex knew that he had done it all for her benefit.  The rest of the team that was working her probably didn't appreciate the surprise cleaning, but Alex had been completely fine with it.  

 

They got to his office and J'onn shut the door before turning to look at her.  "Are you going to be okay?"

 

"Kara wants space...and time...and I have to give that to her right now," Alex told him.  It wasn't that that didn't kill her, because it did, it was just that she kept the mantra going.  It was like if she kept saying it, then somehow that space and time would go by faster.  It hadn't been even an entire twenty-four hours since she'd last seen Kara and it felt like weeks.  

 

Was she happy she told Kara?

 

Yes.

 

The truth was killing her and Alex just couldn't hold it all in anymore.  The guilt of it.  Alex still felt the guilt and she felt horrible for what she'd done...not only to Kara, but to Astra.  Maybe if things had gone differently, if they'd gotten Astra on their side...Alex might have even  _ liked _ Astra.  Now that she wasn't busy, all she could do was dwell on what could have been and how much pain she must have caused her sister.

 

"But are  _ you _ okay?" J'onn questioned.

 

"It's not the first time I've taken a life," Alex reminded him as she looked right at him.  She crossed her arms, feeling almost uncomfortable.  She knew that J'onn was the last one she should feel in any way uncomfortable around for this conversation.  He knew her, knew her record, and had trained her.  He knew what she was capable of and what she'd  _ had _ to do in the line of duty.  "This time it was different," Alex allowed in a whisper.  There was a need to explain to him what she was feeling so that she didn't come off as not being able to handle it.  She could, it just didn't make it any easier.  

 

"Because it was Kara's aunt?"

 

It took her a moment to really sort through what was going through her head and not knowing if J'onn would even understand it.  "It's more than that," Alex admitted.  "Kara is  _ my family _ .  Astra was Kara's  _ family _ .  So, in a way...that made her  _ my family _ ."

 

"Alex--"

 

" _ I know, I know _ ...that's not  _ entirely _ true...and then there's the fact that  _ you're  _ my family, too, and that Astra was going to _ kill you _ ," Alex reminded.  She was quiet for a moment and let out a huff.  "I didn't say that anything that was going on in my head made one hundred percent sense."

 

J'onn was quiet and placed a hand on her shoulder.  "It makes sense."

 

"Does it?"

 

J'onn gave her a stoic nod.  "I understand what you're saying.  It's not an easy thing.  Family.  War.  Opposite sides.  Any of it."

 

Alex didn't know if that made her feel better, all she knew was that it eased what she was feeling a little.  "I should go.  I put off calling my mom back after I missed her call this morning."

 

"Has Kara said anything to her about what happened?"

 

"I doubt it," Alex admitted with a sigh.  "To really get into it, we'd have to fill her in on secrets and Kara wouldn't do that no matter how upset she is.  We're trying to keep Mom out of this world, keep her safe."

 

"If you need me--"

 

"I know," she said quietly.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You just don't sound right," her mother said with concern.

 

Alex was driving home, her mother was on speakerphone.  It seemed like the easiest way to call her mother back and that way if she sounded distracted, she could blame it on the sudden need to focus on driving.  There were bound to be people who weren't using their blinker or who thought that two inches was enough of a buffer as they got into the lane ahead of her.  

 

"I'm just...concentrating," Alex tried to brush off.

 

"It's been two weeks since I talked to you or Kara and I just get worried," Eliza said.

 

A sigh escaped her lips and Alex couldn't help but have the thoughts of Kara's face from the night before haunting her.  "Kara's just trying to find where her place is as Supergirl."

 

"And you?"

 

"I'm just busy."

 

"At the DEO?"

 

Crap.

 

"Yes," Alex confirmed.  " _ At _ the DEO."

 

"Alex, you know you working there worries me."

 

"I can take care of myself."

 

"That's what I thought about your father--"

 

"Mom--"

 

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I know you don't like this topic, but I just worry about you," Eliza told her.  "You can't fault me on that."

 

Alex didn't say anything and just sat at the red light.  The truth was, she'd been thinking a lot about her dad.  She had been closer to her dad than her mother, so when she'd lost her dad...it had been hard and she'd just wanted to do everything that would make him proud.  It was one of the reasons why she'd pushed herself into watching over Kara.  It was what had pushed her into the field she'd gone into.  

 

"Alex?"

 

She realized she'd gone quiet as the light turned green.  "I'm here, Mom," Alex said as her foot slipped to the gas and she started across the intersection with the other vehicles on either side of her.  "I'm just having a really bad--"  Her sentence was cut off by the sudden and jarring impact to the passenger side of her vehicle.  It spun and the rest was a blur.  There was crashing, crunching, screeching, screaming, pain, and Alex couldn't place any of it as she blinked her eyes to try to bring the world around her into focus.

 

"Alex?" her mother called out worriedly.  "What happened?  Are you okay?"

 

"Mom?" Alex called out, barely a whisper and then let out a cry before the upside down world around her turned black.  

 

"Alex?  Alex?!  Alexandra, you answer me!"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  



	2. J'onn: The Wait

"Sir?"

 

J'onn still was trying to process what had just been said to him on the phone.  Agent Vasquez was obviously worried as she stared at him.  It took him a moment to snap out of it.  "Agent Danvers was in an accident," he finally got out.

 

Vasquez wasn't the only one who seemed to freeze at that.  It was just momentarily, though.  The next beat, they were all acting.  "Have they called Supergirl?"

 

"She didn't pick up," J'onn said.  He knew that there could be all kinds of reasons why Kara didn't pick up, but someone needed to be at the hospital with Alex.  He kept worrying over the years that he was going to lose Alex in the field, not like this...not in a car accident.  

 

"We've got this, Sir," Agent Benanti told him as she practically shoved him towards the exit.  "Do you need someone to drive you?"

 

"No," he said, sobering up.  "I--I'm okay."

 

J'onn was walking with purpose, leaving behind the agents who had been fussing over him.  He'd been caught off guard, but he couldn't help it.  When he'd seen the caller ID as Alex, he'd just assumed that she was calling him because she was having a hard time and possibly that she needed to take some time off.  To hear a stranger's voice on the other side telling him that she'd been in an accident, it wasn't something that he'd ever expected to hear.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
He'd been able to watch from afar before they'd taken her in for x-rays.  From where he stood, she didn't look badly hurt, but he knew that could be deceiving.  J'onn had seen pictures all over the news of the crash.  Alex hadn't been the only one involved.  

 

A drunk driver in a red heavy duty raised pickup truck had first collided with a small white car, then that car and the truck struck Alex's vehicle before careening into a third vehicle.  Other cars hit those vehicles on top of it all.  That was the story being reported.  All he could see in those pictures was Alex's vehicle and how it had somehow ended up flipped in between the other vehicles, the chrome grill of the truck stuck in the side of her vehicle.  J'onn didn't even know how scared Alex had been or how confused (if she hadn't seen it coming).  

 

No one had been able to get ahold of Kara.  J'onn knew that she was mad at them and wasn't talking to them, but he'd been calling and texting her and he just wished she'd pick up to yell at him to stop calling.  The other person he'd contacted once he'd gotten to the hospital had been Doctor Eliza Danvers because she shouldn't see it on some news, but she hadn't picked up as well.  He'd left her a message to call him as soon as she got it.  That had been hours before.

 

J'onn paced the waiting area.  He wanted answers, but no one was giving them to him simply because they didn't have any to give.  All he'd been told was that Alex was in surgery for an internal injury.  

 

It occurred to him as he stared up at the screen, when he caught the CatCo logo that there was someone else that he could contact in hopes of getting ahold of Kara.  No matter how Kara felt about Alex right now, J'onn knew that she would want to be there for her sister.  There was no way that Kara hated Alex...not like that.  

 

His phone was up to his ear again.  "Can you connect me to James Olsen, please?  Yes, Hank Henshaw is calling."  He waited for a few minutes and it seemed like so much longer than it actually was.  

 

"Hello?  Director Henshaw?"   
  
"Olsen.  I need you to grab Kara and bring her down to National City General," J'onn rattled off quickly.  "That car accident that all the news outlets are covering...Alex was in the middle of that."

 

"Is she okay?"  

 

"She's in surgery," J'onn told him.  "From what they say, it sounds like she'll be okay.  Kara isn't picking up her phone--"

 

"Yeah, she explained what happened.  She called out today.  Cat has been out of control all day."

 

"Does that present a problem for you tracking her down?"

 

"No," Olsen told him.  "I'll find her and bring her to the hospital."  He paused for a moment.  "Have you talked to Alex's mom?"

 

"Left her a message to call me, still haven't heard back from her yet."

 

"Okay.   _ We _ will be there soon."

 

He'd done all he could until his phone calls were returned.  J'onn knew that, but it still didn't make it any easier.  All the worse case scenarios flooded his brain as he waited impatiently for an update.  

 

The wait was the hardest and most painful.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


It had been just over three hours by the time Kara and James walked into the waiting room together.  J'onn got to his feet, but kept distance from Kara.  Out of the two girls, Kara had always been the one prone to hugging...though given recent events, he wasn't going to initiate any kind of physical comforting contact.  James was there as Kara's friend, he could do that right now and J'onn was thankful for his presence.  

 

"Have they said anything more?" Kara asked.

 

"Her lung collapsed," J'onn filled her in.  "They said that they were going to check for any other internal damage that might not have shown up on their scans while they had her open."

 

"How long ago was that?"

 

"I've been here for more than three hours," he said.  "They were prepping her for surgery by the time I got here."

 

He could tell that Kara was having a hard time with this.  There was almost a conflicted look at her face.  He knew that Kara still wanted space from him.  That was understandable, but he wasn't going to leave the hospital.  He was Alex's family too.  "If you want me to go...if you need the space--"

 

"No," Kara said as she held up a hand and sat down in one of the chairs across from him.  "Alex would want you here."

 

"I need to get to the airport," James announced.  J'onn looked up at the younger man and he was immediately explaining.  "Eliza left a message on Kara's phone.  She was on the phone with Alex when the accident happened.  She got on the first flight out of Metropolis.  I'm going to pick her up.  She should be landing soon and I'll bring her here."

 

J'onn just gave him a nod.  "Thank you, Mr. Olsen."  He had no idea how he would have responded if he was on the other side of the country and heard something like Doctor Danvers had to have heard.  What did Alex say to her last?  It explained why he hadn't been able to get through to Alex's mother and he was relieved that she was already en route.   

 

"She's not going to be happy that you're here," Kara spoke up a few minutes after James was gone.

 

"I know."

 

And he did.

 

In some small way, he knew that he really needed to be grateful for the fact that Alex hadn't been injured while out with the DEO.  That would likely upset Doctor Danvers even more, bringing her back to how her husband had died.  This would be the first time he'd be seeing Doctor Danvers as Alex's boss.  Either way, he knew that she wasn't going to appreciate his presence.  He couldn't just leave, not without at least seeing Alex after she was out of surgery first.  

 

He had to know that she was okay.

 

They were both silent for another long length of time.  

 

What broke the silence wasn't the voice of either of them, but rather the door that they'd been waiting to open.  They were both on their feet in an instant, their heads snapped to the man in the white coat.  "Alex Danvers."

 

"That's us," Kara said as she took a step towards him.  "Alex is my sister."

 

"She's in recovery," the doctor informed her.  "The surgery went well.  We stopped the small amount of internal bleeding we found.  Her lung has been reinflated and so far, she seems to be doing just fine.  There's some pain, but we're managing it with medication."

 

"Can we see her?"

 

"When we get her into a room, I'll have a nurse bring you back."

 

"Please?" J'onn asked from where he was standing behind Kara.  He was already pulling his badge out, it was in FBI mode as he flashed it to the doctor.  "This is Agent Danvers' sister."

 

"Just for a moment," the doctor said.  

 

"Thank you," Kara said and then looked back at J'onn.  

 

He just motioned for her to go.  He knew that Kara really needed to be the one who saw Alex.  Kara _ needed  _ this and  _ if  _ Alex regained consciousness while Kara was in there, it would ease her to know that her sister was there for her.  J'onn watched Kara go and just sighed.  He'd have to wait until Alex was moved and just hope that he was allowed in the room to see her.  

 

Moving back to the chair he'd been in before, he sat down, and tried to get comfortable.  It didn't work.  Instead he got up again and started to pace.  It was only a few minutes before the doors swung open again.  Kara was standing there, looking so small in that moment.  

 

"Kara?" he asked gently.

 

"She looks so pale…"

 

J'onn frowned deeply to that response.  "She's going to be okay."  He wondered if that had meant that Alex had lost a significant amount of blood or if it was just the harsh lights of the hospital.  

 

They both went back to their respective chair across from one another, heads down.  

 

They just waited.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Kara?  Kara?  Please tell me you've heard something," Eliza said.

 

They both looked up, getting to their feet as Doctor Danvers and James Olsen re-entered the waiting room they'd been waiting in.  He watched as Eliza reached out and grabbed Kara's hands.  She was desperate for answers.  J'onn waited for Kara to say something, but instead she just broke down into tears.

 

"The doctor said that the surgery went well to fix her collapsed lung," J'onn supplied.  "Kara saw her briefly while she was in recovery.  They said that they'd send out a nurse once they put Alex into her own room."

 

"How long ago was that?"

 

J'onn looked up at the clock on the wall.  "Probably about forty-five minutes ago."

 

"So, she should be moved soon," Eliza said.  She hugged Kara.  "I'm so glad that you're okay, Sweetie."

 

"Alex will be, too," Kara whispered as she held onto Eliza.

 

J'onn looked to James, who was standing back as well.  He moved back to the seat he'd claimed as his for the last few hours and found that James sat a seat over from him.  They sat there in silence, just waiting.

 

Suddenly, Kara and Eliza were arguing and he heard his name.  He looked over at them to find that Doctor Danvers was now walking towards him.  "Why are you even here?  You can go," Eliza told him.  There was anger in her voice and he couldn't fault her for that.  He knew that she wouldn't be happy to see him even if Alex hadn't been on DEO business when she was injured.

 

J'onn got to his feet.  "They called me when they couldn't get a hold of Kara," he explained.  "Apparently I'm an emergency contact on Alex's phone."

 

"You're her  _ boss _ , not her  _ family _ .  I want you  _ out _ ."

 

He had wished that he'd be able to see Alex first, but he couldn't deny Doctor Danvers her wishes.  The last thing that he wanted was for there to be tension or upset in the hospital.  Alex needed them calm and sane when they finally were allowed to go in and see her.  J'onn wasn't going to make things worse.  

 

"Wait, Hank's--" James started to argue as he got to his feet too.

 

Turning, he gave the younger man a stern look, which cut off his sentence quickly.  "It's okay, Mr. Olsen.  Doctor Danvers is right.  I came to make sure that my agent received the proper treatment because no one else could be contacted."  He knew that he had to play the part that Doctor Danvers expected even if it felt  _ wrong _ .  

 

Alex  _ was _ family.

 

Kara  _ was  _ family, too, even if they weren't on the best terms currently.

 

The Danvers sisters were more than Supergirl and one of his agents.

  
They were his  _ daughters _ .

 

"I was hoping to see my agent before leaving, just to make sure--"

 

"No," Eliza shut him down.

 

"He could have before, Eliza, but he insisted that I go in," Kara said gently.

 

Doctor Danvers was in a fury it seemed and she immediately turned to Kara.  "How can you even  _ say _ that?  You  _ know _ !  I told you both to be careful around Agent Henshaw!  I told you what happened to Jeremiah!  If I could get you both away from him, I would!  I'm not about to let him go in to see Alex."

 

"I'm leaving," he said gently and he headed out of the waiting room.

 

He hadn't seen Alex.

 

He hadn't known that she was really okay.  He'd wanted to see her for himself, especially after Kara had been concerned about Alex's pallor.  J'onn had just wanted that small amount of solace of seeing Alex for himself.  

 

He left the waiting room, but he didn't leave the hospital.  

 

All he kept thinking was that there had to be other ways into the area that they had Alex in.  He could get in two different ways, either as Hank Henshaw (under the guise of an FBI agent) or he could use his powers.  The one thing he knew was, he had to be fast.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


He'd gone the route of FBI agent and explained that Alex's mother wasn't happy about him being there, but that he'd just needed to see his agent before leaving.  That had seemed to be enough, plus flashing the badge.  They'd escorted him, but told him he only had a few minutes.  A few minutes was more than enough time.  

 

Alex was unconscious in the hospital bed.  They'd just put her into a room, which meant that they'd be getting Doctor Danvers, Kara, and James any moment.  Standing at her bedside, he found her hand and held onto it as he brushed hair out of her face with his free one.  "You're going to be okay," he whispered.  "I know you had to be scared, but you're strong.  Kara's here...and your mother."  He knew that his time was ticking away.  He couldn't expect for her to wake up while he was there, even though he really wanted that.  It just wasn't going to happen.  

 

"I have to go," he whispered sadly.  He didn't want to go.  He really didn't.  He knew that was selfish.  He'd gotten quite used to it just being him, Kara, and Alex in so many situations.  "But Kara's here...and I told you that she'd forgive you.  Just wake up...that's all your sister wants right now.  Everything else, it won't matter."

 

Leaning over the bed, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and felt a ball of guilt form in his stomach.  He didn't want to leave her.  Even though he knew he wouldn't be leaving her without protection, Kara would be there, it was still so hard not to be the one there to watch over her.  

 

He moved to the nurse's station to let them know that he was leaving, but also to drop his card and to request that they just call him when she woke.  He was going to worry until he got to actually see her awake and talk to her, but it was ease him a bit to know that the nurses would call him with the information.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


An hour passed.

 

Two.

 

Too many.

 

He couldn't just sit in the DEO wondering if Alex was okay. J'onn knew that the nurses could be busy and there were likely shift changes.  His number could be lost.  He just couldn't wait.  He was too anxious, but he didn't want to risk going back to the hospital and upsetting Doctor Danvers if it wasn't necessary.

 

So, he tried a long shot, but he hoped that it would work.  

 

J'onn sent off a text to Kara, just to ask if Alex had woken up.  He expected a yes/no response, well honestly he expected a 'yes'.  The doctor had said that the surgery had gone well and from that, it seemed like Alex would be fine.  He just couldn't stop from worrying.

 

His phone buzzed.

 

When he looked down, he felt sick to his stomach.  There was a one word response from Kara and it wasn't the word he was expecting.  

 

No.

 

Alex hadn't woken up yet.  

 

He wanted to ask questions, but he knew that Kara still wanted space...but then there was also the fact that Doctor Danvers was likely there hovering in the hospital room wanting to know who she was texting.  Staring down at his phone, he tried to focus on breathing and not getting any more upset than he already was.  

 

His phone buzzed again.

 

The text was unexpected.

  
  


**Kara Danvers:** The doctors keep saying that she should have woken up already, but that it can take 24 hours for the meds to clear out of her system.  Eliza keeps saying that it's late and Alex just wants to sleep through the night.  I'm sorry Eliza made you leave.  I know Alex will want to see you when she wakes up.  I'll text you then...and thank you.

 

**Hank Henshaw:** Thank you for letting me know.  Alex is strong and stubborn, she's going to wake up when she wants to.  You don't have to thank me for anything, Kara.  I am just glad that Alex is okay.  

  
  


That was how they left things, but it was more than enough for him.  He knew he wouldn't sleep well or for long, but he just hoped that what they were saying was true, that it might take just take Alex a bit longer to wake up.  She had been in surgery for quite some time and she had to be under all that time, so he supposed that it made sense for her body to take longer to scrub the anesthesia out of her body.  

 

Time.

 

Waiting.

 

Too much space.

 

J'onn didn't like any of it.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC...


	3. Kara: Tension

When Kara woke up, she expected to find Alex awake.  

 

She wasn't.

 

Worry instantly filled her.  Eliza must have noticed that she'd woken up because she was running her hand up and down Kara's arm.  She wondered if her adoptive mother had slept at all.  Kara had tried to stay awake, she'd wanted to, but she just couldn't.  James had left to go home before she'd fallen asleep and had promised to come back in the morning with real coffee and breakfast.  He was a good friend.

 

"You and Alex keep secrets from me," Eliza said evenly.

 

Kara turned and stared at Eliza.  She was a little shocked that that was the first conversation they were going to have, especially since Kara had just woken up.  Her voice was soft and as calm as she could keep it.  "You  _ know _ what we do.  Well, you know  _ some  _ of the secrets.  About how Alex works at the DEO and how Hank-- _ Director Henshaw _ is her boss."  Of course, Eliza hadn't known that Henshaw was Alex's boss until she'd arrived in the hospital to find him there in the waiting room.

 

"Oh, he's  _ director _ now, is he?"

 

That obviously struck a nerve with Eliza.  "Does it  _ really  _ matter?"

 

"He  _ killed _ Jeremiah!"

 

Kara wanted to tell her so badly.  It wasn't her secret to tell and that made it all the more harder.  She glanced over to Alex and frowned harder.  "Don't they say that people can hear things... _ feel  _ tension?" Kara questioned.

 

She heard Eliza let out a sigh.  "Yes."

 

"I know that you don't like Henshaw, but I _ can _ tell you that he's protective of Alex, he wouldn't let anything happen to her if he could help it," Kara found herself defending him.  It didn't seem like that helped Eliza at all, she wasn't fuming.  Even though Kara wasn't on the best of terms with J'onn and his decisions, she knew that he'd meant to spare pain between her and Alex.  He'd done it for  _ them _ , not with an ulterior motive, and he'd gone through all of her backlash.  He'd been  _ protecting Alex _ .  He'd been  _ protecting her _ .  "He's a _ different _ person."

 

That was the truth.

 

"Kara--"

 

There was a quick knock at the door before a nurse popped her head in.  "Sorry to interrupt."  She was carrying a very lavish and colorful arrangement that looked like it might nearly topple the tiny nurse.  "These just came for Agent Danvers."  She nurse just smiled and set them on the bedside table next to Alex before leaving them.  

 

Kara and Eliza both remained quiet until the nurse left.  "Who would be sending Alex flowers?" Eliza asked.  Her adoptive mother's mood brightened considerably.  "Does Alex have a boyfriend?  Have you two been keeping  _ other  _ secrets from me?"

 

If Alex had a boyfriend, Kara would know about it.  She didn't say anything and just stood back and let Eliza look over the flower arrangement.  Whoever had sent them, it was a nice gesture and they would be nice for Alex to look at once she woke up.  Right now, Kara was more concerned about the fact that her sister still hadn't woken.  Alex's doctor hadn't made rounds yet that morning and Kara kept wondering if there was something else that they should be doing, if they'd missed something when Alex had first come in.  There was a loud gasp that escaped Eliza's lips which immediately pulled Kara's attention.  "What?  What is it?"

 

"Alex and  _ Maxwell Lord _ ?"

 

"What?" Kara snapped in confusion.  She immediately was at Eliza's side and peering at the card.  "You've got to be kidding me…"  Kara was going to throw him back into the prison at the DEO.  This had to be a game.  A sick, twisted game.

 

"What?  What's wrong?"

 

"Maxwell Lord isn't a good guy," Kara told her gently, trying not to let her frustration or anger show too much.  "And he's  _ not  _ someone Alex is dating or even  _ friends _ with."

 

"But he sent her  _ flowers _ ."

 

"I wouldn't be surprised if they're deadly or--"

 

"Kara, don't overreact!" Eliza scolded.  She held up the note that came with the arrangement.  "He even calls Alex his  _ hero _ !  There can't be bad feelings--"

 

"He threatened both of us," Kara said quietly, though she knew that that wasn't something that Alex likely wanted her to say.  J'onn would likely have an even stronger opinion on it.  "He threatened  _ you _ ."

 

Silence passed between them.

 

"Let's just tell her it came with no card," Kara said gently after a moment and held out her hand for the card from Lord.  She sighed, she knew that Eliza just wanted Alex to be happy when she woke up and this wouldn't really be that big of a lie.  Eliza set the card into her hand and then Kara tucked it away in her pocket.  She'd have to let J'onn know and possibly have the hospital notified that Maxwell Lord wasn't to be anywhere near her sister's room...just in case.  "You're probably right.  I'm probably overreacting."

 

"You said he threatened  _ our _ family."

 

Kara gave a nod and crossed her arms.  "He doesn't like aliens and _ I'm _ an alien."  She shrugged.  "He probably thinks I'm the worst kind because I'm out there helping people."

 

There was so much that Kara wanted to tell Eliza, for her to understand the world that she and Alex lived and fought in, but she knew that she couldn't.  It would make things so much easier, but it was DEO business and their responsibility.  She realized that she should probably text J'onn, even if it was just to update him that Alex still wasn't awake and then give him the head's up about Lord.  

 

There was another knock on the door, but instead of a nurse, James had returned like he'd promised.  "Coffee?" he offered and held out the tray of coffees.  "I also brought some pastries."  James pointed to the flowers.  "Those are nice."

 

"Maxwell Lord," Kara said slowly and quietly.

 

"What the--"

 

Kara showed him the card that had accompanied the flowers.  

 

"That's creepy."

 

"Right?"

 

"Maybe he's got some obsession with your sister?"

 

Kara crinkled up her nose with disgust.  "No."

 

James smirked at that.  

 

" _ No _ ."

 

"I'm surprised you let the flowers live."

 

"Oh, there was almost heat vision involved, but we decided that was overreacting," Kara said as she looked towards Eliza, who was watching them and smiling a bit too much.  She looked back to James, ignoring Eliza's staring.  She just hoped that James didn't notice.  "Uh, I need to go make a phone call--"

 

"To Cat?"

 

Kara cringed.  "Crap."

 

"Don't worry," James said with a smile.  "It's Saturday."

 

"That means nothing."

 

"Cat has that conference remember?  She's on a plane to Metropolis."

 

Kara just blinked.  "Right."  She'd really forgotten what day it was.

 

"She's going to call Henshaw," Eliza spoke up.

 

Instead of fighting with Eliza, she just reached out, touched James' arm for a moment, and then headed out into the hallway.  She wasn't going to fight about this.  She was already upset with J'onn and Alex, but at the same time...she couldn't be.  As she'd sat there the night before, she'd gone over and over again what Alex had said as she stared at Alex's unconscious form.  It had killed her and when J'onn had texted her, Kara just couldn't hold any more anger against either of them.  

 

So, she walked through the halls with the phone to her ear.  This was going to be faster and more succinct for both of them than trying to text.  Kara was certain that he was going to have questions.  

 

"Kara?"

 

"She's still asleep," Kara said quietly.  She knew that that was what he wanted to know first.  She let out a sigh and rubbed her forehead.  "The doctor hasn't come around yet, but if they're right about it taking up to twenty-four hours to flush out of her system then it's not even been a full day yet."

 

"I'm just worried."

 

"I know.  So am I."

 

"This has to be difficult for you."

 

"I should have picked up the call--"

 

"It wouldn't have gone differently, you know that," J'onn assured her over the phone.  "It was a freak car accident.  There was nothing you could do as Supergirl to prevent that.  Right now, you just have to be there for Alex."

 

"I'm sorry that you can't be."

 

He was quiet for a moment.  "Doctor Danvers is right.  I'm _ not _ family."

 

"You know that's not true," Kara said gently.  "Alex would  _ want _ you here."

 

She heard him sigh.  "I know that Alex told you the truth about--"

 

"She probably thinks I hate her," Kara said as her voice broke a little.  She had been really trying to hold it together.  It was hard though because all Kara kept thinking was about Alex and then Eliza was pushing buttons (even though that wasn't her intent).  

 

"She's afraid that you won't forgive her," J'onn confided.  "I told her that no matter what, you're still her sister and right now, you just have to be there for her, Kara.  She is going to need to know that you're there for her.  I've watched you two.  You have a bond that honestly, I'm a little jealous of.  How you two are, it's like you've been in each other's lives since birth.  You take strength from each other and...and Alex needs that strength right now."

 

Kara was quiet, breathing and trying to keep herself calm.  "I just stepped out for a moment."  She swallowed and pulled out the card she'd tucked back into her pocket, reminding herself that she needed to talk to J'onn about something else. "I need your help with something else."

 

"Name it."

 

" _ Maxwell Lord _ ."

 

"What about  _ him _ ?"

 

"He sent Alex flowers."

 

"He did  _ what _ ?"

 

"He sent Alex this  _ huge  _ bouquet, it's crazy.  It's like the entire shop  _ stuffed _ every flower they had into one vase."

 

"What do you _ want _ me to do?"

 

"I want to tell you to pick him up and shove him into a cell again, but…"  Kara sighed and knew that that just wasn't the way to go.  They'd released Lord and they'd decided to be the bigger people.  They just couldn't go back on that now.  Kara, though, was fairly sure that her sister would understand if that had been the route that they decided on.  "Is there any way to get a DEO detail assigned to Alex's room?  Or just to the hospital to make sure he doesn't try anything?"

 

"I'll get on it right away."

 

"And J'onn?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Thank you."

 

" _ Anything _ for you and Alex."

 

The call ended and she stood there for a moment, forcing herself to keep her emotions bottled up.  She knew that J'onn had meant what he said.  Even though things had happened and put a rift between the three of them, they were always going to have a connection...they were always going to be a family.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"It's been twenty-four hours," Kara declared some time later.  

 

James had dropped off lunch earlier and Winn was currently on his way with dinner for them.  J'onn had assigned a pair of DEO agents at Alex's door and they were to take their orders on who was allowed in and out from Kara directly.  In all of that time, the doctor had come to check on Alex three times, no time during that day had Alex woken or even stirred.  They'd both been talking to Alex and nothing.  No response at all.

 

Kara was really starting to worry.  "She should be awake."

 

"Kara--"

 

"What if it's something else?  What if they missed something?" Kara asked quietly, letting her emotions seep into her voice.  

 

"You have to think  _ positively _ ."

 

"You don't think I've been doing that?"

 

"You've been distracted and you've looked so sad, Sweetie."

 

"It's complicated," Kara told her, trying to brush it off.

 

"Talk to me."

 

She couldn't tell Eliza everything, but she could tell her some things.  The guilt over what happened was seeping into her and twisting her insides.  "I didn't pick up the phone when they called me because I was ignoring Alex's calls."  She sucked in a deep breath before pushing it out.  "And I was ignoring Hank's calls, too."  Kara shook her head.  "That's why I wasn't there...here...for Alex when she was brought in.  That's why Hank was here."

 

"Why--"

 

"Alex and I fought."

 

"You and Alex don't fight."

 

Kara looked at her adoptive mother.  "We do, it's just normally stupid stuff that's over by dinner."  It was hard to explain without really explaining why she had been so upset, why she'd ignored all the phone calls.  "That's also why I ignored  _ your  _ call," she said quietly.  It was actually something that she was ashamed about.  "I was afraid that Alex had talked to you, that you were calling to talk about why we were fighting and I just…  I couldn't talk about it, I needed time and space...and I told Alex that...and I just--"

 

It seemed like Eliza needed a moment to really think about that.  Kara thought that maybe her adoptive mother was even going over the possibilities in her head as to why they were fighting and maybe even considering pushing for answers.  "I just want to know if this...if your fight was about Henshaw--"

 

"No," Kara said quietly.  That wasn't one hundred percent true.  Kara still wasn't happy that J'onn had stepped in and lied (and in turn, Alex had lied) to her for weeks.  His reasons, though, Kara realized were good, even if it backfired.  All J'onn had wanted was to protect them and she'd noticed that he was especially was protective of Alex.  It made her sometimes wonder how much time he'd spent with Jeremiah Danvers.  

 

"Okay."

 

Okay.  

 

Okay?

 

Really?

 

Kara was a bit surprised by that response, but at the same time she was thankful for it.  For the first time, Eliza wasn't being negative about Hank, about J'onn.  If Alex could hear them, Kara was certain that that should have been her chosen moment to wake.  She actually looked over, expecting Alex to have that kind of timing.

 

She didn't wake.

 

"There was  _ nothing  _ you could have done, Kara," Eliza finally spoke up.  Their eyes met and Eliza was sincere with what she was saying.  "All Henshaw did was sit in the waiting room until we got here.  That isn't anything that _ had _ to be done.  It wasn't helping Alex.  You not picking up that call, it didn't help _ or  _ hinder your sister."

 

Kara knew that this was supposed to be a pep talk, but it was going sideways in Kara's head.  Eliza was right, of course.  J'onn being at the hospital was more for J'onn.  There was some comfort in being close by, just in case, even if you couldn't actually do anything to help.  The thing was, J'onn probably made sure that they knew that Alex was an agent, which probably was why she had a private room.  J'onn made the call to make sure James found Kara and brought her to the hospital.  J'onn made sure that Kara got to go in and see Alex because in that moment, that was what Kara needed the most.  Most of all, J'onn had given them distance so that Eliza could be there (and he probably hoped that it would keep her calm, which wasn't entirely successful).  

 

"I just want her to wake up," Kara whispered as she looked to Alex.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


**Kara Danvers:** There has to be something wrong.  

 

**Hank Henshaw:** She's still not awake?

 

**Kara Danvers:** No.

 

**Hank Henshaw:** It's been over 36 hours now.

 

**Kara Danvers:** Eliza just acts like Alex is just going to wake up and the doctor won't be in for another 6 hours or so.  I just can't help thinking that there's something else wrong.  They have to have missed something.  The nurse said something about  delayed "emergence", but what if it was something else?  What if Lord had something to do with what happened to Alex?

 

**Hank Henshaw:** I paid a visit to Lord.   
  
**Kara Danvers:** And?  Could he be behind this?

 

**Hank Henshaw:** If you'd been the target, then I would say yes it was possible.  Lord has a problems with aliens.  He actually seemed quite concerned about Alex and offered anything to help her.  As much as I don't trust him, I don't think he was behind this.

 

**Kara Danvers:** I don't know what to do.  

 

**Hank Henshaw:** You're doing everything you can.

 

**Kara Danvers:** I Googled what happens when someone doesn't wake up after surgery.  There's plenty of sites that say it can take a day, but after that, they consider it a coma.  I'm trying not to freak out, but I can't lose her.  I need my sister.  There's no timeframe with comas.  Some people just never wake up.  Is there anything at the DEO that we could use?  To help her?

 

**Hank Henshaw:** I'll look into it.  Text me after you talk to the doctor.

 

**Kara Danvers:** Let me know if you find anything.

  
  


Tears fell down her face as she clicked the button on the side of her phone and slid it into her jacket pocket.  She looked over at Alex's still form.  She still looked so pale to Kara.  Eliza was asleep at Alex's bedside, holding her daughter's hand.  She felt so helpless to help Alex.  At least Eliza seemed to understand everything that was being said, she understood the vitals.

 

"This can't be real," Kara whispered as she covered her face and closed her eyes.

 

She was absolutely exhausted and no matter how much she wanted to stay awake, she knew that she couldn't.  If she wanted to help Alex, she knew that she needed to sleep and take care of herself.  Kara just wished that she had some comfort in knowing that Alex was getting better, that she'd wake up.  Right now, all she had was fear and worry.  That didn't sit well.

 

Alex.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Kara…"

 

Alex.

 

At first, she didn't see her sister.  It was black, but eventually, she saw Alex.  It was confusing.  It wasn't right and Kara knew that.  She was trying to put together pieces and place what was going on.  

 

"Please try, Kara...because Earth needs Supergirl."

 

Alex was begging her.  

 

It was then that she realized that this was a dream.  It was all a dream.  She knew that, but she couldn't bring herself to wake up.  Alex was killing her emotionally in that moment, she remembered how she'd originally rejected Alex when this had happened, but now...now her gut twisted and she felt sick to her stomach.

 

She moved towards Alex and the guards that held her sister in place.  This time, there was no family...no Krypton.  They were just in darkness.  It was all black around them.

 

Black.

 

The Black Mercy.

 

"Kara, I can't choose this for you, you have to choose it for yourself."

 

All she wanted was to be able to choose for Alex to wake up.  Kara wanted to wake to find her sister there, smiling at her, and color in her cheeks.  Maybe it was the harsh reality that she knew was waiting for her if she woke up in that moment that held her back, held her in the dream state.  All she knew was that things changed.

 

"Alex!"

 

"I got you…"

 

The guards disappeared.  

 

Kara moved to Alex and hugged her like there was no tomorrow.  This was all she wanted to do.  To hold her sister, to run her hand along her back, to tell her that no matter what happened...that she loved her and that she forgave her.  That they were sisters and nothing was ever going to change that.  

 

"Alex," she found herself whispering as it seemed like Alex began to fade.  Her sister was fading as she held her, which only made her hold her tighter.  "No!" Kara shouted and tears poured from her face.  She couldn't lose her.  Not this time.  Not ever.  "I've got you!"

 

"Kara…"

 

"I've got you!  Don't let go!"

 

But Alex disappeared.

 

Faded.

 

Kara was left all alone in the blackness, sobbing.  She looked everywhere, but there was only blackness.  "ALEX!" she screamed until her throat protested.  She fell to her knees and eventually, the black overtook her too.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	4. J'onn: Promises Kept

The call he'd gotten from Kara had been more than unexpected.  

 

He'd only talked with her two hours before.

 

Alex still wasn't awake.

 

Kara was requesting something that J'onn just didn't know if he could do.  It would involve more than just the DEO's help, it meant so much more.  What Kara was asking would be risky to both girls and it would also involve opening up the DEO to people that he hadn't been planning on bringing in (at least not again, in one case).  

 

He sat there in his office, not having really slept for more than thirty minutes here and there since he'd initially received the call about Alex's accident.  J'onn was exhausted, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep.  He needed to know that Alex was going to be okay.  Right now, that meant that he push to try to get things arranged while Kara did convincing on her end.  J'onn wasn't sure who was going to be harder to convince to go along with Kara's plan (if it was even feasible) Eliza Danvers or Maxwell Lord.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"I must be hallucinating."

 

"You heard right."

 

Max just smiled and then let out a laugh.  "You come here...in the middle of the night--"

 

"You said you'd do anything to help Alex, was that empty or did you mean it?"

 

His features seemed to go serious and soften.  He rubbed his face and let out a sigh.  "No, I meant it."  He looked at J'onn for a long moment.  "How do I know that you'll let me go once I help you?  _  If  _ I can even get the thing to work, which...by the way, there's  _ no promises _ and there's no alien conduit this time.  What you're proposing could kill  _ both _ of them."   
  
"I guess we're going to just have to take each other at his word unless you have another suggestion?"  

 

J'onn hadn't wanted to go to Maxwell Lord in the first place, but he was the best in his field.  He'd helped them solve the VR interface when Kara had been under the Black Mercy.  That's what Kara wanted to use now, to modify the VR interface to somehow go into Alex's mind and pull her out.  There were no promises and no certainty that it was even possible or that it would even work, but Kara was desperate.  

 

So was he.  

 

"No," Lord resigned.  He was quiet for a moment.  "We're doing this at the DEO facility?"

 

J'onn gave him a firm nod in response.

 

"Just trying to figure out what I'll have there."  Lord was quiet, he seemed to be contemplating.  "Can I at least get dressed first?"

 

Instead of responding verbally, J'onn huffed and turned to move out of Lord's bedroom and give him the privacy he required.  This was so difficult for him.  Lord couldn't be trusted and even though it was clear that Lord didn't like aliens, J'onn wasn't sure the man's exact feelings when it came to Alex (especially with Lord knowing that Kara was her sister).  He'd have to keep a close eye on things.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


**Hank Henshaw:** Any luck with Doctor Danvers?

 

**Kara Danvers:** No.  She's still asleep.

 

**Hank Henshaw:** How's Alex?

 

**Kara Danvers:** The same.  How are things going there?

 

**Hank Henshaw:** Max is on board.  He's been here working on the interface right now.

 

**Kara Danvers:** Thank you for doing this.

 

**Hank Henshaw:** You still have convincing to do.

  
  


The big problem was that Max had to find a way to interface the VR equipment that Alex had originally used so that it could go into Kara's mind.  It wasn't going to be the same this time.  That was one of the reasons why, Lord had explained to him, that they could lose them both.  

 

All he could think about was how weeks before, Alex had gone in and it hadn't gone as planned and to him, it had been close.  They could have lost them both then.  There had been the added horror that Alex had requested James stop him if he tried to pull Alex out.  Then, Alex hadn't wanted to come back without Kara...now, he wouldn't be surprised if it was the same thing all over again.  The sisters were close and they depended heavily upon each other to survive this world.  It wasn't just National City or everyday life, it was the constant life or death situations and alien invasion.  The world that the rest of the world didn't know existed for the most part, they only saw glimpses of it.

 

He watched Max work and he felt sick.  What if this  _ didn't  _ work?  What if something went wrong?  Worry raced through his mind and he just had to hope that this would work and that Max would actually do the right thing.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


**Kara Danvers:** She won't allow it.  

  
  


That first text killed him.

 

He sat down, floored by the thought that he might never talk to Alex, see how her eyes sparkled before her smile fully formed, or argued with her again.  As much as he wanted to, he couldn't force this on Alex.  As far as he knew, Alex didn't have any legal papers giving someone else the right to make decisions on her behalf, so it fell to family.  Her family was Eliza Danvers and Kara.   _ Not him _ .

  
  


**Kara Danvers:** The doctor just officially said that Alex has slipped into a coma.  He acted like it was nothing.  We've been waiting for her to wake up for almost two days.  I can't just sit here and hope that Alex wakes up.  The doctors say that it's up to her.  What if Alex doesn't want to come out of it because of me?  I was awful to her.  

  
  


If this was going to work, he knew that he needed to make other steps to make it happen.  He couldn't just wait and hope that Kara would convince Doctor Danvers.  He needed to go down there, no matter how much Alex's mother didn't want to see him, he needed her to understand that this was possibly the only way to get Alex back.  They could just wait...and  _ maybe  _ Alex would wake on her own in a week or in a month, but what _ if _ she  _ didn't _ ?  

 

He couldn't just sit there.

 

He  _ wouldn't _ .

 

He got up and moved out of his office.  This wasn't going to be how things ended.  He'd made a promise and he was going to honor it.  "Benanti, watch Lord and get him whatever he  _ reasonably _ needs," J'onn barked as he moved across the command center area of the DEO facility.  

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

Today might just be his  _ last  _ day as Hank Henshaw.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"What are  _ you _ doing here?"

 

"We  _ need _ to talk."

 

"I have nothing more to say to you!  You've done enough damage to  _ my  _ family!"

 

"Alex is  _ my _ family, too."

 

"How  _ dare _ \--"

 

"Eliza!   _ Stop!"  _ Kara snapped.  Her voice softened when she spoke next, nearly pleading.  " _ Please?  _  He's really here to help!  If Alex was awake, she'd tell you the same exact thing!"

 

Eliza Danvers seemed to stop at that.

 

"I don't even want to know what Alex must think of us if she can actually hear us," Kara went on.  "She's always looked out for me, protected me, and pushed me to be better...now I have to be the one to look out and protect her.   _ Please _ , Eliza, let me do that  _ now _ ."

 

"Do you  _ really  _ trust him?" Eliza asked.  She motioned to him.  "After  _ everything _ that I have told you?"

 

"Yes and so does  _ Alex _ ."

 

"Kara--"

 

"You only know _ half _ the truth," J'onn interrupted.  He knew that that not only caught Doctor Danvers' attention, but also Kara's.  Kara wasn't expecting this, but he was certain that she knew what was coming now.  He moved to the door and locked it before turning all of the blinds so that they could talk in private.  "What I'm about to tell you--"

 

"You don't have to do this," Kara said gently.

 

"But I do," he said gently.  "If it means that Alex is saved, I will do anything."  It broke his heart to see Alex like she was.  She would be upset with him later and she'd blame herself for what he was about to say.  It would all be worth it.  "My name is  _ not  _ Hank Henshaw," J'onn said as he looked to Doctor Danvers.  "Your husband was working with the DEO and they believed they were tracking down a hostile alien.  Jeremiah Danvers realized that the alien the DEO, that Hank Henshaw was tracking...was in fact, much like Kara...not a threat...just another alien without a home.  _  Lost.  Afraid.  Only wanting peace _ .   _ To be left alone.  _ _ To make Earth his home _ ."  He paused for a moment, wondering how much of this Doctor Danvers was taking in.  "My planet is  _ gone _ .  My family  _ murdered...burned _ .  I am the _ last  _ son of Mars," he said.  "And Jeremiah Danvers gave his life for mine, but before...I made a  _ promise _ to protect Alex...to protect Kara."

 

"No," Eliza whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

 

"I am a shapeshifter, I took on the form of Hank Henshaw in order to make things safer on this world, for those like Kara and I, and to keep people like you safe from humans and aliens alike," he continued calmly.  "After you revealed what happened to Jeremiah, Alex became suspicious and I had to show myself to...to explain the  _ truth _ ...and then to Kara."  He knew that words and a story wasn't going to be enough.  It wasn't what Doctor Danvers deserved.  "Everything I have done since then, recruiting and training Alex...the DEO... _ all of it _ , it's been to  _ honor  _ Jeremiah Danvers."  

 

"If you're not Henshaw…"

 

"My name is J'onn J'onzz," he said and shifted from the shape of Henshaw.  With how much he spent in the form of Henshaw, sometimes being in his true form felt almost foreign to him.  

 

He watched as Doctor Danvers nearly fell over, but Kara kept her upright.  He was just thankful that she didn't scream out.  At first, he could tell that she was shocked, taking in his true form.  A moment later, she became curious and moved towards him.  " _ Last son of Mars _ ?" Eliza repeated.  "Does that mean you're a  _ Martian _ ?"

 

" _ Green _ Martian," Kara corrected.

 

"There are  _ others _ ?"

 

"Yes," Kara and J'onn said together.

 

Eliza was quiet for some time and then finally looked back to Alex.  J'onn morphed back into Hank Henshaw, waiting for the response he had hoped for.  He watched Doctor Danvers, she was fidgeting with her hands, wringing one hand with the other, like he'd seen Alex do before.  She was having a hard time, fighting for the right decision.  "Okay," she finally whispered.

 

"I haven't told you  _ everything _ ," Kara said gently as she moved to Eliza's side.  She reached out and took her hand, looking directly at her.  J'onn knew that the hard part was convincing Doctor Danvers to let them take Alex back to the DEO or letting the DEO (especially him) being involved in any way.  "A few weeks ago, I was in a similar situation.  There was an alien parasite on me," Kara tried to explain.  "I can't go into all the details right now.  We don't feel we have the _ time _ .   _ Then _ , Alex went into my mind in order to help me, to bring me home.  That is what I want to do now.  It's different, the interface will be different."

 

"It's  _ risky _ ," J'onn spoke up.  "We could lose  _ both _ of them."  He felt like it was only fair for all the chips to be on the table.

 

"You're not going to lose _ either _ of us," Kara insisted.  "I can  _ do it _ .  I can bring Alex back.  She  _ should _ have woken up, there has to be something else."

 

"Kara, are you  _ sure _ ?" Eliza questioned.  "I can't lose _ either _ of you."

 

"I can get Alex to wake up and Maxwell Lord's genius will have the equipment figured out by the time we get Alex to the DEO," Kara said.  

 

"I thought you said Lord--"

 

"No matter  _ how _ creepy he is or how much he  _ hates  _ aliens, he's a genius and he likes to remind us all of it."

 

"And he seems to be willing to do  _ anything  _ for Alex," J'onn brought up.

 

" _ Another _ thing _ not  _ to tell Alex," Kara pointed out.

 

"What do we have to do to get her moved?" Eliza questioned.

 

J'onn gave her a nod.  "I'll take care of everything."

 

"I'm going with her, with _ them _ ."

 

"Of course."  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"How sure are you that this is going to work?" J'onn questioned.  They were outside of the room that Alex was already prepped in, her mother had her side.  He didn't know how to feel about this, but J'onn knew that he had to hope that this would work.  It had to.  This wasn't just about him wanting Alex back.  It was about the possibility of losing Alex and Kara.  It was about watching Eliza Danvers lose the rest of her family because of Hank Henshaw...because of J'onn J'onzz.  He couldn't take that.  He could lose his family all over again.

 

"I'm certain that it will work, but I can't be certain that Supergirl can bring Agent Danvers back," Lord said as he looked to Kara.  "She's got to have reasons not to come back, right?  Maybe you're responsible for some."  He looked to J'onn.  "Maybe you."

 

"Maybe," J'onn practically growled.  It was hard to keep his cool with Lord acting like that.  They needed him, though, Alex needed him.  

 

"How do you have such confidence you can do it?" Lord asked Kara.

 

"Because she did it for  _ me _ ," Kara said gently.

 

Lord didn't seem to be convinced by Kara.  "You know, I may be a genius and my device is definitely going to work, but that still doesn't mean that this  _ won't  _ be dangerous."

 

"I'm coming back with my sister," Kara insisted.

 

J'onn wanted to be the one to risk it, but he knew that Kara wouldn't let him...and she was likely the best person.  He thought that he could convince Alex, but Kara knew her so much better.  Alex had just risked her life to bring Kara back, how could he deny Kara to do the same?  "We don't know what you'll see in there."

 

"It's not real."

 

" _ No _ ," J'onn said.  "That's the thing.  It  _ is _ real.  This time, it's not the Black Mercy.  Alex won't be in her ultimate dream fantasy...at least, we can't think that.  You have _ no _ idea what you'll see in there.  It could be her worst nightmare.  It could be crowded or it could be barren.  She might not want to see you--"

 

"I'll handle it."

 

"Kara--"

 

She sucked in a breath.  "I can do it."

 

"Well," Lord said with a shrug.  He was clearly not confidant that this plan was going to work.  "I guess it's time."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


J'onn watched as Doctor Danvers held tight to Kara, tears streaming down her face, and she held onto Kara for dear life.  She'd already kissed Alex and he'd heard her tell Alex to come back with Kara.  He hoped that it was enough.  

 

As much as he was ready to have Alex back, he wasn't looking forward to watching Kara go in.  The wait was going to kill him,  _ kill them all _ .  He watched as Doctor Danvers reluctantly let Kara go and move towards the other medical bed.  He sucked in a breath and just tried to keep himself calm, which was getting harder and harder.  His emotions kept bubbling up, threatening to overtake him, but J'onn knew that this wasn't time for that.  He tried to keep his emotions for private and this just wasn't the time (or place or company for it).  

 

Kara was launching herself at him, in a tight hug (even for him), and caught him off guard.  "If something happens," she whispered.

 

" _ Nothing _ ," J'onn told her, hugging her back.  "Nothing is going to happen."

 

"If something--"

 

"I promise."

 

He knew that that was what she needed to hear.  Kara needed to know that Eliza would be okay, that she would be looked after.  The girls didn't realize that he'd been watching the  _ entire  _ family all these years.  Eliza Danvers had known better about how to act and what to pursue, she'd had experience and she'd been impacted deeply by the consequences of too much.  Kara, on the other hand, knew exactly how dangerous the world could be...it wasn't just the people or aliens, it was the possibility of losing an entire world.  Alex, though, she'd been angry with the world and she'd felt like no matter what she did, she would never be good enough...but he'd strengthened her.  

 

He released her and found himself not wanting to.  As much as Doctor Danvers couldn't lose them, he really couldn't either.  "Come back to us."

 

"With Alex," Kara told him and went to the medical bed.  

 

Lord stepped up and started to hook Kara up with the same VR equipment that Alex had been weeks before.  The augmented new equipment had already been hooked up to Alex and J'onn had just watched Lord double check it while Kara had hugged her adoptive mother.  He just hoped that this worked, for all of their sakes.  

 

"Don't pull me out," Kara said as she turned to look at him.

 

That was going to be hard.

 

He'd had to be kept from doing that weeks before.

 

"Kara--" Eliza started to argue.

 

"Not without Alex," Kara told her adoptive mother.

 

"Not without Alex," J'onn echoed a bit reluctantly.  He placed his hands on his hips and pulled on his mask.  He knew that he needed to be strong because they had no idea what they were about to go up against.  

 

Kara laid back on the bed and Lord dropped the visor down.  "Bring her back, Supergirl," Lord  said quietly.

 

Now, they waited.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  
  


TBC…

  
  



	5. Kara: Lost

When Kara had been under the Black Mercy, she'd found herself on Krypton.  She was in a world that had never been destroyed and a childhood that had never been taken away.  Everyone in her life that she'd loved as little Kara Zor-El had been there, including Astra.  When she opened her eyes, she'd expected to see the Danvers family home in Midvale.  That's not where she was.

 

Black.

 

Darkness.

 

Thunder and lightning overhead.

 

It was like being in a void.  

 

There were sounds all around her and she could feel emotions, but all she could  _ see  _ was black.  Kara knew that this wouldn't be the same, but she'd imagined just about anything but this.  The emotions were what overtook her.  

 

Grief.

 

Sadness.

 

Despair.

 

Regret.

 

Anger.

 

Resentment.

 

Insecurity.

 

Fear.

 

Kara sucked in a breath and pushed the tears away that had fallen.  All of these feelings, Kara knew them all too well.  It scared her that this was what Alex was trapped in.  It hit her, she'd been so upset with her sister before...she'd pushed her away even if that's not what she'd intended.  She tried to launch herself upwards, to try to get a better view, maybe there was something beyond, but it was then that she realized her powers didn't work.  

 

"Alex?" she called as she turned in a circle, looking through the darkness for her sister.  For anything.  "Alex?!  It's Kara!  I've come to take you home!"

 

"Why?"

 

The voice was booming and made Kara take a step back until she realized that it sounded like it was coming from every direction.  It wasn't Alex's voice, but it was familiar.  Kara stood there for a moment, wondering if there was any use in responding to the voice.

 

This was different, she reminded herself.

 

This wasn't some idyllic dream.

 

No.

 

This was Alex's  _ mind _ .

 

She wasn't trapped.

 

She just didn't want to wake.

 

"Because she's  _ my sister  _ and I  _ need  _ her," Kara responded back.  

 

Out of the darkness, a road appeared.  Kara didn't even think about it, she just went.  She followed it, the never ending road.  It reminded her of the haunted forest in 'The Wizard of Oz'.  It was dark and she knew it should be scary, but the only thing that scared her in that moment was not getting Alex home.  In failing her sister.

 

"Really?  No yellow brick road?" Kara mumbled after what felt like hours of walking.

 

The road changed, it became a palm tree lined concrete path that led to a familiar place.  The green grass and the water in the distance.  That would have been enough for Kara to know where she was supposed to be.  The Danvers family home made it clear that that was Alex's happy place.  Or at least, that's what Kara thought in that moment.  Who wouldn't want to think of home as your safe place?  As a sanctuary?

 

"There's no place like home," Kara whispered at the sight of it.

 

As much as Krypton had been her home growing up, the Danvers home in Midvale had possibly gotten her through the worse times in her life.  Kal--Clark had been pretty much completely brought up on Earth while Kara had always felt out of place, of two worlds.  When she'd been under the Black Mercy, she'd had to choose and she didn't regret it.  As much as Krypton and her parents would always be in her heart, Earth and the Danvers were home to her now.  

 

As she approached the house, it all changed.  Lightning lit the sky above, stealing her attention upward for the moment as a thunderous clap filled her ears.  The house was suddenly not the bright, clean, and welcoming place she remembered, but looked like it had been abandoned decades before.  Her eyes moved upward, catching slight movement, and it was like she'd gone back in time.  Up in the window, a younger Alex stood there with the curtains pulled back, just like she remembered when she'd first been brought to the Danvers.  

 

It wasn't right.

 

Alex was gone a moment later from the window.  

 

"You can't be here, Kara."

 

She froze and turned to find Eliza standing there.  Kara blinked and tried to remind herself that this wasn't Eliza, this wasn't really her adoptive mother, but Alex's mind.  "Why?"

 

"Because you're not needed."

 

"Alex  _ needs _ me."

 

"No, Sweetheart, she doesn't."

 

The way Eliza said it, sounded like Kara was about to offer Alex a piece of chocolate, not an escape from whatever this place was.  Eliza cupped her cheek, so sweet and so kind.  Kara shook her head and pulled back.  Eliza was back in the DEO, she was there waiting for them to  _ both  _ wake up.  

 

"Where's Alex?" Kara asked, trying to move towards the house, but Eliza kept moving to be in her way.  

 

"Kara, she doesn't  _ need  _ you."

 

She tried everything to try to get around, but this version of Eliza could just appear in a blink and was stronger than she was.  Kara kept trying, but she was getting frustrated.  She needed to find Alex, she needed to talk to her...to tell her that she was sorry...to tell her that she understood and forgave her...to say everything she needed to say.  Alex had always protected her and cared for her even though Kara knew that had to have been the hardest thing to do.  Kara had changed Alex's whole world that day and she didn't think there was enough ways to thank Alex for being her sister.  "Maybe," she whispered.  "But  _ I _ need  _ her _ ."

 

"Kara--"

 

" _ You're not real _ !" Kara burst and suddenly wished that she did have her powers.  

 

Eliza was gone.

 

She moved to the door.  It was locked and Kara wasn't surprised.  Whatever was going on, it wasn't making it easy for her.  All Kara wanted to do was to talk to her sister.  She pulled on the door, wishing that she had her super strength.  She even went so far as to wish the door open, but nothing happened.

 

Looking for another way in, she went with the half broken window three feet to her right and continued to break it.  She cringed at the pain as the glass sliced her arm.  "Seriously?" she gasped as she stared at the crimson staining her arm.  

  
This wasn't real.

 

"I'm coming for you, Alex," she said as she ignored the pain and climbed into the house through the window.

 

"What are you doing, Kara?"

 

She froze and turned to find someone that she knew that she should have  _ prepared _ herself to see.  Why wouldn't Alex dream of him?  "Jeremiah," she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks.  It had been over a decade, but that didn't diminish his loss.  She hadn't known him for very long, but he was a good person, better than so many on that world...better than so many in the universe.  

 

"What are you doing, Kara?  You're  _ hurt _ …"

 

He seemed distracted by her arm now and was looking it over.  "It's nothing," she brushed off.  "This isn't real."

 

"Kara, I know that you're from Krypton, but bleeding  _ is _ a real thing."  He was concerned and gentle and Kara found herself melting as he fussed over her for no reason.  Jeremiah insisted that she go with him to the kitchen to clean it up.  "There's a reason why we insisted that you still had to be careful even with your unique abilities."

 

"This is a dream, Jeremiah."

 

"Of course it is," he agreed with a smile. " _ I'm dead _ ."

 

That took her breath away for a moment.  She knew that it was a dream, but she hadn't expected for Jeremiah to be conscious of himself (but this was Alex, she tried to remind herself).  She pulled her arm away from his hold.  "It's my fault that you're gone…"

 

"No," Jeremiah said gently and reached out to touch her cheek.  "If it wasn't you...something else would have made me join the DEO.  They would have found a way."

 

"Alex--"

 

"You've both grown up to be such beautiful, intelligent, and strong young women...I couldn't be prouder," he told her.  "But why are you  _ here _ , Kara?"

 

She blinked now.  "For Alex."

 

"Why?"

 

"To bring her home."

 

"She _ is  _ home."

 

"No," Kara insisted and shook her head.  "We're in Alex's mind...this is a dream."

 

"Actually, it's a nightmare," he told her.  "But what do you expect to find here?"

 

" _ Alex _ ."

 

"Well, she's certainly somewhere."

 

" _ Help me _ ."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because this _ isn't  _ real," Kara told him, getting frustrated.  She was starting to think that he was just taking her in circles.  He was wasting time and distracting her from why she was there.  Alex.  She needed to find her sister and actually talk to her, face to face.  "Alex needs to know that she needs to wake up."

 

"She doesn't want to."

 

"Why?"

 

"You know why."

 

"Because of me?"

 

"Alex hasn't had it easy, has she?" Jeremiah questioned as he started to move through the house.  "But then, neither have you…"

 

"You and Eliza were always harder on her."

 

"She's  _ still  _ harder on Alex, isn't she?"

 

"She's trying."  Kara sighed and realized that she wasn't getting anywhere.  She'd seen Alex, the younger Alex upstairs.  She started to move towards the stairs, but she was blocked by Jeremiah.  "What are you doing?"

 

"Go home, Kara."

 

"No, not without Alex."

 

"She doesn't want you here.  She doesn't want to leave."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it's too much," Jeremiah told her.  "There's too much out there in your world.  Too many emotions.  Too much stress.  Too much--"

 

"It's Alex!  She's not just going to give up!   _ I'm _ not going to just give up because you say--"

 

" _ You broke her _ ."

 

Kara took a step back and felt like him saying that had broken something inside of her.  Was he telling her the truth?  Deep down, she sort of wondered if she'd done that.  She'd been so upset with her sister...she had valid reasons, but Alex had always been there to protect her.  Kara knew that she wouldn't have wanted J'onn killed, but that didn't make Astra's death any easier.  She shook her head, decided that Alex wouldn't just want her to go.  She knew her sister and she knew that if they talked, things would be okay again.  Then they'd both wake up in the DEO.  She had to remember that as real as this was, it wasn't.  "No!  Get out of my way!"

 

"Kara, is that anyway to talk to--"

 

"You're not Jeremiah Danvers!"

 

That seemed to be enough to banish him.  

 

Sucking in a deep breath, she placed her hand on the railing and looked up the stairway that seemed to stretch on and on like it was so freaking mirror illusion.  This was like the road, it was because it was Alex's mind.  Kara started up the steps and then stopped.  "This is the top step.  Show me the hallway."

 

The hallway appeared, but there were double the rooms.  

 

"I knew you'd be here."

 

Kara sighed.  "Why are you here?"

 

"To keep you from Alex."

 

It was J'onn, in Henshaw's form.  He was blocking half the hallway from her.  Kara sighed and was finding this to be getting old.  She hadn't prepared for it to be this difficult, but then she thought back to when Alex had appeared on Krypton in the Black Mercy induced dreamland.  They'd put Alex through all kinds of things before Kara could even  _ accept  _ what Alex was saying and snap out of it.  

 

"You really don't want to keep me from her, J'onn," Kara told him.  

 

"Why do you say that?"

 

"Because you want her to wake up as much as I do."

 

"I want her to be happy.  I want her to be at peace."

 

At peace.

 

That killed her.

 

The image of Alex so pale flashed into her mind and Kara had to remind herself that that wasn't going to happen.  She would make sure of it.  "Do you really want to lose another daughter?"

 

"She's already lost."

 

He sounded so sad and that killed her more.  J'onn J'onzz had lost his wife, his daughters, and his planet already.  Kara knew that even if he felt like they were both like daughters to him, that he still had a favorite...Alex.  

 

"She isn't!"

 

"You lost her, Kara.  You have to accept that," J'onn said as he came closer to her.  His voice was harsher and angrier.  "She is a warrior.  A soldier.  Sacrifice is something--"

 

"She was in a car accident!" Kara spat at him.  The man in front of her wasn't J'onn, she knew that.  No matter how much he looked or sounded like him, it wasn't him.  All she could think was that he sounded like the man she'd first met, the man who treated her like she was some child playing super hero.  "She wasn't out there in the field!  She was talking to her mother on the way home!  She was upset with me!"

 

"All you do is babble!"

 

That angered her.  Kara balled up her fists and screamed at him.  She knew that this was all in Alex's head.  None of it was real, but how she wished she had her powers so that she could just punch through things either with her fist or with her heat vision.  

 

J'onn morphed into his true Green Martian self, towering over her.  He looked even larger than she remembered.  "You are no hero!" he shouted at her.

 

"Maybe," Kara said quietly.  The anger was still filling her.  All she wanted was to get through to Alex.  She had to make this right.  She knew that she could if only she could see Alex.  "But you're not going to stop me!" she shouted as she charged directly at him.  Super powers or not, she wasn't going to stop.  

 

And he was gone, just like the others.

 

Kara moved down the hallway and she found herself stopping suddenly.  Something familiar had caught her attention from the corner of her eye.  It wasn't because it was something familiar in the house, to was because it was something familiar to Kara.  It was something that didn't belong there.

 

Her head swung over and she just stared at the door for a long moment.  Her breathing shaky.  Kara couldn't help, but reach out to touch the emblem on the door.  It was carved into the wood, like it was apart of the door itself.  

 

The symbol that she wore nearly every day.

 

The humans called it an 'S' for super.

 

It was the House of El's coat of arms.

 

"What is this doing here?" she whispered as her fingers roamed over the carving.     
  
The Danvers hadn't gotten rid of every aspect of her Kryptonian heritage, they weren't cruel.  They had known that it was so much harder for Kara to give it up than it had been for her cousin because she'd grown up on the planet.  She'd known her biological family.  She'd known her culture.  She'd known all of that and they wanted to make it as easy of a transition as possible.  Eliza and Jeremiah had let her keep her clothing she'd come in, that had the House of El symbol on it and the necklace her mother gave her.  This was different.  Nothing had ever been carved.

 

Why would Alex have this in her mind?  Kara wondered if her younger self was inside.  She knew that Alex had admitted to being jealous of her and that she'd been concerned that she hadn't been a good sister to her growing up.  The truth was, Alex was the best sister, better than she could have even imagined to hope for.

 

This was Alex's mind.

 

Wasn't everything that was there something that Alex had projected?     
  
Why this?   
  
She couldn't just pass it by.  Did Alex know this?  Was this in order for her to just take more time in finding Alex?  When she opened the door, she found family.  It was Kara's family.  Family that would never be forgotten, but that broke her heart just the same.  Kara covered her mouth as a gasp escaped and stepped back into the hallway.  She hadn't been prepared for this.  

 

Her mother.

 

Her aunt.

 

Alura and Astra.

 

They were both there standing together.  

 

"Kara," Alura greeted and held her arms open to her.

 

"We've been waiting for you, Little One."

 

Kara's mind raced.  Had she told Alex about Astra's nickname?  So many years had passed since she was a little girl new to the planet.  It was completely possible.  Or was it possible that the technology that Lord was using was able to interconnect their brains somehow?  Could this be her  _ own _ mind?  

 

"You're both dead," Kara whispered as tears fell.  

 

"You're right," Alura said, her voice just as pleasant and sweet as if they were discussing something happy.  "But we'll always be here for  _ you _ , Kara."

 

"Why is this place here?"

 

"Your sister  _ killed me _ , Little One," Astra said, a smile on her face.  "She is torturing herself."

 

"You didn't give her a choice," Kara whispered.

 

"You're right."

 

"You  _ wanted _ to die," Alura accused her twin.

 

"I wouldn't say that exactly."

 

"Tell me about Myriad," Kara requested.  She figured that she might as well with them both there.  The question had nearly self destructed the holo-image of her mother.

 

"This is Alex's mind, Kara," Alura reminded sweetly.

 

Astra moved towards Kara, reaching out to cup her cheek.  "Alex doesn't know anything about Myriad.  All she knows is that she's afraid that it will mean losing you.  It means that you'll face Non and that he and his people will be too much.  She worries about you, Little One.  I'm glad she's your sister."

 

"If Alex wanted to torture herself, she didn't need both of you," Kara pointed out.  She didn't understand why Alex would have both her mother and aunt in her head, in a room with _ her  _ coat of arms on it.     
  
"She's seen how your life would have been if Krypton had not been destroyed," Alura said with a bright smile and a joyful tone.  "Through the Black Mercy.  She knows that you would have been happier with me...with Zor-El and with Astra."

 

Kara shook her head.  "That's--that's not true."

 

"Isn't it?"

 

Honestly, she didn't know which life she would choose if she was actually given the choice.  If Krypton survived somewhere with her family just waiting for her, would she go?  Or would she stay?  Would she give up the Danvers family?  Could she?  She knew that Eliza would understand and maybe even Alex...but she didn't think that she could live without Alex.

 

They were sisters.

 

Not by blood.

 

But by the heart.

 

It was sometimes a bond that felt stronger than that of blood.  " _ Alex is wrong _ .  She  _ thinks _ she knows what I feel...what I think, but she's wrong."

 

"You're leaving us?" Alura questioned.

 

"I have to."

 

"Take care of yourself, Kara, and remember...we will always be with you when you need us most."

 

And she knew that.

 

A little reluctant and with so much pain, Kara grabbed the white door and pushed it shut.  No matter though she knew that they were both dead, that this wasn't real, it still hurt just as deeply.  They would always be her family and they'd always be in her heart, she knew that.  Right now, she needed to find her other family--

 

"Kara Zor-El."

 

Kara blinked at the younger version of herself that stood at the end of the hallway, dressed just like she had the day that Krypton had been destroyed.  "Where's Alex?"

 

"She's with me."

 

"I need to see her."

 

"No," the little girl said simply.  "You don't."

 

Kara just sort of stood there, confused.  "Why can't I see her?"

 

"How many people have stopped you before this point?"

 

"Why does that matter?"

 

"This is all Alex."

 

They were in Alex's mind, she knew that.

 

"I want to see her," Kara said gently and yet firmly.  

 

The little girl tilted her head, seemingly studying her.  "You've seen her.  Aspects of her.  You weren't talking to Eliza or Jeremiah or J'onn J'onzz or Alura or Astra or even me…  You have been talking to Alex the entire time."  Her voice was so small and childlike.  

 

And deep down, Kara knew that her younger self was right.

 

J'onn had pointed out that it  _ would be real _ .

 

Tears filled up in her eyes as she realized why she kept asking for Alex, what she really wanted.  " _ I need to see my sister _ ," Kara whispered.  

 

"She's really not our sister."

 

"Don't even play that game with me!" Kara shouted at her younger self.  "Alex is always my sister!"

 

"You aren't happy with her."

 

"I was caught off guard."

 

"And now?"

 

"And now, I need my sister."

 

"Why?"

 

"Alex!  Please!" Kara shouted, staring up at the ceiling, frustration seething from her.  "Just let me talk to  _ you _ !"  When she looked back, her younger self was there but so was a younger version of Alex.  It was the Alex she'd seen stare down at her from the window originally.  "We have to talk, Alex."

 

"I've been listening," the younger Alex told her gently as she held onto the younger Kara.

 

"When I was in the Black Mercy, you came for me.  You convinced me of where my home and my heart was.  You said then that you needed  _ me _ ," Kara explained.  "But, Alex, I've  _ always needed you _ .  We might not have spent our entire lives together, but you are and always will be my sister...no matter what.  I just needed time to think and to...I needed to figure out how I felt."

 

"You don't _ need me _ ."

 

" _ I will always need you _ ."

 

The younger versions of her and Alex seemed to be looking at each other, as if they were trying to figure out if she was telling the truth or perhaps what came next.

 

"I know that growing up, Eliza and Jeremiah expected you to look out for me, to protect me.  That's not what I expected.  I actually didn't expect anything when Kal-Clark told me that I would be staying with a family.  I never expected to have a sister.  We were more than sisters," Kara told her.  "We were closer.  I know that you thought I was annoying and that I was weird.  No matter, I was always your sister.   _ You  _ were the reason that I actually started to be okay with being on Earth.  You and your family shared your name with me and made me feel like I was part of the family.  No matter what happened, you always protected me even when I didn't need it.  You have always been stronger than me, Alex.  No matter how old I am, I will always need my sister.   _ I will always need you _ ."

 

"Save me," younger Kara and Alex said together and then turned to the right as a door swung open.  

 

Kara took a step forward and could see Alex, _ her Alex _ , tucked into bed.  The room seemed darker and felt so cold.  As she entered it, she could feel the thick of emotions overwhelming her again.  "Alex, I don't know how to get us both home," she admitted as she approached the bed.  She had assumed that it would be like in the Black Mercy dream state, that once Kara had made the decision to give it up that she woke up.  

 

Had she convinced Alex?

 

Was there something more to it?

 

"Save her," little Alex said.  

 

Kara spun to see them both standing in the doorway.  

 

"Save her," little Kara said.

 

The two continued the mantra.  

 

Alex looked asleep in the bed and Kara didn't know what else to do.  So, she pulled back the blankets and scooped Alex up.  Even though she didn't have any of her powers, she could still pull Alex into her arms and hold her close.  "Please, Alex.  I need your help now.  I need you to tell me what else I have to do.  I can't go back there without you."  She held her tight and sucked in a breath.  "I forgive you.  I do!  You were protecting J'onn.  I don't know what I would have done in your position," Kara admitted.  "All I know is that I forgive you, I love you, and I'm ready for us to go home.  To wake up.  Are you?"

 

Silence.

 

No movement.

  
Her sister was still motionless, lifeless, and cold.

 

"Alex?!  Alex, please!  WAKE UP!  WAKE UP, ALEX!" Kara screamed as she shook her sister.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
TBC…

  
  
  



	6. Alex: Stronger Together

Her ears rung.

 

Her heart was pounding.

 

Her entire being was throbbing.

 

It was difficult to suck in breath and to keep the rhythm of in and out to come easy.  Her eyes blinked and she finally let out a gasp before reaching up to rub her face, dislodging what was covering her eyes.  She went to sit up, jolted, but she was immediately pressed back down.

 

"Hey, hey... _ breathe _ ," J'onn prompted staring down at her.  "Just breathe right now.  You're safe."

 

"Wha--"

 

"Just breathe for a minute, okay?  We're going to get the doctor in here."

 

That's when she turned her head and saw her sister with the visor still over her eyes.  Her breath felt like it got caught and was being blocked.  She couldn't breathe.  Why wasn't she sitting up or awake?  What had happened?  Why--

 

" _ BREATHE _ ," J'onn prompted her again, this time his tone more authoritative and forceful,  as  he shook her lightly.

 

Alex blinked, turning her head back to look at him.  She forced herself to breathe again.  " _ Kara _ ," she managed to barely get out with a breath.  

 

"Why isn't she waking up?" her mother was asking before J'onn could, but Alex had seen him go to ask.  That was what he was going to say, Alex knew it.  She remembered hearing her mother, but it was so out of place for Alex to see her there in the DEO.

 

"I don't know!  I told you that we could lose both of them," Lord shot back.  

 

" _ Kara _ !" Alex shouted.  She moved to sit up now that everyone seemed distracted from her.  She was hooked up to tubes and leads and she started to bat at them, only to catch the attention of one of the DEO doctors.  

 

"You need to relax, Agent Danvers," the doctor said.

 

She couldn't.

 

Kara was right there--

 

The gasp that came next seemed to force the entire room to silence.  "Alex?" Kara's voice breathed out next.  

 

Alex was trying to move again, but this time, not only was J'onn holding her down but he was also clicking the locks on the medical bed she was lying on and moving it towards Kara.  He knew better.  He knew that she needed to know that her sister was okay and that Kara was likely _ just _ as worried.  "Hi," Alex whispered as she reached out, their fingertips touched before the beds even met.  

 

"I was  _ so worried _ ," Kara whispered through tears.

 

"You _ found me _ ."

 

" _ I always will _ ."  Kara was quiet for a moment.  " _ You're _ my sister, Alex.  I will  _ always _ be there for you, just like you've always been there for me.  I would have searched _ beyond the galaxy _ if it meant finding you."

 

"We should probably let the doctors check vitals," Lord spoke up.

 

Alex knew that in this instance that Maxwell Lord was right.  She hurt in various places (but that was to be expected since she had been in a car accident) and she was disorientated.  

 

"I will be right outside," her mother told her as she took her hand for a moment and then bent down to place a kiss on her forehead.  Letting go of her mom's hand had been hard that time and Alex knew that it was because it was almost a touch that never happened.  She'd been on the phone with her mother when the car crashed.  She remembered that.  Alex had no idea what must have been going through her head when she'd realized what had happened.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The doctor checked them both over, but took much longer with her and she had to be separated from Kara for part of it.  The doctor had insisted.  Alex supposed that it was expected given that she'd been apparently unconscious for as long as she had and  _ then _ deemed 'comatose'.  The doctor had explained that she'd been at National City General and that Director Henshaw had had her brought in after her mother had given the approval.  

 

"I know that your mother and sister are here, but I'd feel better if you stayed overnight, just for observation," the doctor told her.  "It's just a precaution.  You've been through alot, Agent Danvers."

 

"Okay," she said without a second thought.     
  
The doctor had sat her up she'd been feeling fine.  He said that she could change if that made her more comfortable, it would.  Alex knew that Kara could do the trip to her apartment easily, even if it was just for pajamas, clothes for tomorrow, and undergarments.  She let out a sigh as she watched the doctor go out.  J'onn would stop him and talk to him, Alex knew that there was no fighting that she needed to stay there for the night.  Between J'onn, Kara, and her mother worrying, there would be no convincing that she could go home.  

 

Her mother was the first one through the door and there were tears.  Alex wondered how many her mother had shed for her since the phone call, since the accident.  How worried had she made her mother?  And the wait…  "Alexandra," her mother said, but in a completely different tone than she normally heard her full first name used in.  It was filled with emotion, mostly sadness, and it melted Alex and made her feel like crying.  "I was  _ so _ worried," her mother said as she got to her bedside.  

 

Kara came in next, but kept her distance.  

 

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered.

 

Arms enveloped her and she held tight to her mother's embrace, her eyes closing.  She kept thinking about how she'd almost not come home to her mother, to Kara.  Her mother only had her and Kara left, since her dad, and she realized that that was likely  _ why _ she was so worried about them all the time.  They were  _ her world _ .  "I'm just so glad that you're okay and awake, Sweetie," her mother told her as she kept smoothing down her hair over and over again.  Her mother pulled back and turned and held her arm out to Kara.  "Come here."

 

Kara seemed reluctant for some reason at first, but Alex held out her arm too and Kara came practically running into the hug. 

 

"I almost lost both of my girls and I never want that feeling again," her mother told them as she squeezed them.  "I know what you do is dangerous, but I need you two to take care of each other and yourselves."

 

"That's what we did," Alex said as she reached down and squeezed Kara's hand, smiling up at her as they pulled out of the group hug.  

 

"That's what we always do," Kara echoed.  "No matter what."

 

"Because we're the Danvers sisters," Alex said.  "And we should come with a warning."  She smiled brightly at her sister, still holding her hand, she knew that her mother wouldn't get it (or at least in the way that Kara would, but that was okay).  

 

"Your last name  _ is _ the warning, Sweetie," her mother said quite seriously.

 

Both Alex and Kara erupted into laughter.  

 

"J'onn would agree with that," Kara said.

 

Alex just looked at her sister sternly.  Then it hit her, her mother was in the DEO.  It wasn't that, but her mother had met her boss.  Her head started to spin.  What had happened while she'd been sleeping?  What had she missed?

 

Kara seemed to sense her tension and looked to Eliza.  "Do you think that we could have a minute?"

 

"The doctor said that she was going to stay tonight, I thought that I might see if someone could drive me in to pick up some things because we're staying together tonight, right?" Eliza asked.  To her, it sounded like the most natural thing, like it was something that they'd already discussed and agreed upon.  "Right?"

 

Alex just smiled.  "I can't promise it'll be comfortable."

 

"I'm getting weirdly used to sleeping in hospital chairs.  Your DEO chairs can't be worse."

 

"Keys are in my bag," Kara said as she motioned in the direction.  

 

Her mother approached and kissed her forehead again and then pressed one to Kara's.  "Try to behave while I'm gone, okay?"

 

"No promises," Kara teased lightly.

 

Once her mother was out of the room, Alex looked directly at her sister for answers.  She knew better than to refer to J'onn as anything except Hank unless it was just the three of them and they were very alone.  Before she could bring it up, though, Kara was hugging her.  "Too  _ tight, _ " Alex lightly protested when it felt like a muscle shifted.  Her mother's hugs had nothing on Kara's alien superpowered one.  She held onto Kara and sucked in a breath, determined not to cry.  "I'm sorry," she whispered.

 

"No, I'm sorry."

 

"I shouldn't have lied to you or let J'onn lie for me," Alex told her.  She remembered the dream, but she had no idea how much Kara remembered.  The interface she'd noticed was similar, but that didn't mean that it was exactly the same as their experience with the Black Mercy weeks before.  

 

"I shouldn't have pushed you away," Kara whispered.  "I was just--"

 

"I know."

 

"You're my sister and I will  _ always _ need you."

 

"And I will always need _ you _ ."

 

It felt like something that they needed to remind each other of right now.  Maybe that was silly, but there had been too many close calls recently.  Alex just couldn't imagine what her life would be without Kara in her life, especially now.  How could she go through life without her cheerful sister?

 

They separated and they both took a deep breath.  "You called him  _ J'onn  _ in front of Mom," Alex pointed out.

 

"Because she _ knows _ ."

 

Alex just stared at her sister.  Kara was just as sunny and matter of fact about her response as she was about what she had to order for Cat Grant from Noonan's.  "What?" Alex managed to push out in shock.

 

Kara sighed and sat on the edge of the hospital bed, facing Alex.  "I had this dream...about you...it was like when we were in the Black Mercy...and they were going to send you to the Phantom Zone."  She paused for a beat before continuing.  "I woke up and thought about the VR interface that Lord had used then.  J'onn contacted him and got him to cooperate, but Eliza wouldn't…"

 

"So, he just  _ told  _ her?!"

 

"You didn't _ see _ her, though you probably  _ heard  _ her.  She was horrible to him.  All she could think about was how she held him responsible for Jeremiah's death and she didn't see him as family," Kara explained.  Her face filled with sadness all of the sudden.  "They tried to call me first when they got you out and recovered your phone at the accident.  And I--"

 

"Didn't pick up?"

 

Kara looked like she had lost Krypton all over again.

 

Alex reached out and covered her sister's hand.  " _ It's okay _ , Kara…"

 

"No, it's  _ not _ ."

 

"They called you and Mom and Hank--J'onn…"

 

Kara nodded.  "But Eliza was already working to get to you.  She already knew what had happened, but I--"

 

"There was  _ nothing  _ you could have done and you didn't  _ know _ ," Alex tried to ease.  

 

"He did what he had to in order to convince her that he had your best interests at heart, that he was  _ genuinely  _ looking out for you...wanting to bring you back because  _ he loved you _ like we do," Kara told her.  "So, he told her the story.  He told her about his promise to Jeremiah."  She paused for a moment.  "About Mars."  Kara looked over and then back to Alex.  "He  _ told _ her and  _ showed _ her that he's J'onn J'onzz and not Henshaw."

 

Alex groaned and slid down in the bed a bit.  "If I hadn't--"

 

"It was a _ freak  _ car crash," Kara said quickly.  "You were not the only one injured.  He did what he had to do...because you're _ family _ and we do  _ anything _ for family."

 

"But it's  _ his secret _ ."

 

"And it was  _ his choice _ ," Kara reminded.

 

"Did Mom freak out?"

 

Kara smiled and gave a short laugh.  "Well, she nearly fell over when he transformed, but I caught her."

 

Alex smiled at that and hugged her sister again.  She knew that it really hadn't been that long since she'd last hugged Kara, but she didn't think she would ever take for granted being able to hug her sister again.  "I love you."

 

"I love you."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Agent Danvers."

 

As much as Alex knew she could go with the 'who let you in here' line, she had actually been the one to ask Kara to ask him in so that she could talk to him.  Maxwell Lord had been the prisoner of the DEO for a while not too long ago and he'd proven himself to be useful when he'd helped her get Kara back.  "Thank you," she told him sincerely.

 

"I didn't do it for a 'thank you'," Lord told her with a smile.

 

"What did you do it for?"

 

"Because it was you."

 

Alex tilted her head.  "I was sort of responsible for imprisoning you--"

 

"Let's be honest with ourselves," Max said as he moved closer to her bed.  "You just really wanted me  _ close _ ."

 

She didn't know if she could handle him.  Max was loading on the charm and the smile.  Right now, she just didn't have the energy for witty remarks.  She was exhausted and she'd honestly just wanted to thank him for this.  "That...was exactly my plan," she lied, but it was what he wanted to hear.  

 

"I bought you flowers, you know," he told her.  "They were massive and beautiful, they must not have made their way here from the hospital.  I suppose they're probably making some nurses or an old lady happy.  So, it's a win-win, right?"

 

He bought her flowers?

 

No one had told her that.  Of course, that was probably the reason that no one had told her.  "That was incredibly sweet and I'm sure  _ someone's _ enjoying them."

 

"I'd send you replacement bouquet, but this place doesn't exactly have an address," he said as he motioned around them.  

 

"It's okay, it's the thought that counts.  And you made sure that I came back from wherever I was trapped inside my head."

 

"Want to talk about it?"

 

He sounded sincere, but Maxwell Lord wasn't someone that Alex could really trust, especially not that.  "I don't think I'm ready, but thank you."  Even though she didn't like him, she knew that being rude to someone who had just helped her when he didn't have to after everything they'd done...it was to be appreciated.  

 

"Well, if you are, you know where to find me," Max said.  "And if you ever decide that you'd want to try the dinner thing--"

 

"I think I've got  _ all  _ of your contact info," Alex cut him off with a smile.  Maxwell Lord was likely one of the rare few men that decided that after nearly never waking up again was the best time to make a pass and then continue to hit on her.  

 

"Bye, Alex."

 

"Bye."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Kara had gone to make sure that Eliza was doing okay getting things because Alex had thought of things that she'd wanted.  It was just one night, but Kara had seemed like she really wanted to make sure Alex was comfortable, so she'd given her a mission.  She was so tired, but she didn't want to sleep...not yet.  Alex knew exactly how long she'd been asleep and it seemed weird that she should be so exhausted after all of that.

 

The light knock on the glass caught her attention and she looked over to see J'onn standing there.  She hadn't seen him since she'd woken up and it had been so brief.  She was certain that he was giving her family their time, but the thing was...he was her family too.  "It took you long enough," she teased, a smile lighting up her face.  

 

"I was doing all that paperwork," he said as he entered the room and made sure he shut the door behind him.  She knew he was lying.  He hated doing paperwork, there was no way he was doing there right now.  Plus, he looked too exhausted.  Alex had no idea how everyone looked so much more exhausted than she felt.  

 

"You didn't have to stay away," Alex pointed out.  "Kara told me that you told my mom--"

 

" _ I had to _ ."

 

"No, you didn't."

 

J'onn's features softened and he seemed to almost look heartbroken.  He reached out and caressed her cheek.  "Alex, we were going to lose you--you weren't waking up and I couldn't bear to lose  _ another daughter _ .  I already thought I was going to lose you and Kara a few weeks ago, but this...this somehow felt like even _ more _ of a close call and I am not prepared to lose you or your sister."

 

"We're never prepared to lose anyone," Alex pointed out quietly, knowing that it had to have been hard on all of them for various reasons.  This was obviously what was haunting J'onn.  The memory of his daughters and the idea of losing the ones he had there on Earth.  She couldn't blame him, but she still felt responsible for him having to reveal something so precious.  

 

"Some of us know that better than others," he whispered.

 

And they did.

 

J'onn had lost so much.

 

Kara had lost so much.

 

Alex had lost her father.

 

"My telling your mother who I was, who I  _ really am _ , and my promise to your father," J'onn told her gently.  "It was _ nothing _ in comparison to risking  _ your life _ ...to you possibly  _ never  _ waking up."

 

"You know that you can't  _ always  _ protect me."

 

"But today, I did what I could to save you and I don't regret it."

 

"Not from Lord."

 

J'onn smirked at that.  "Who told you?"

 

"Oh, Max told me himself, as he was hitting on me and practically asking me out in a couple of different ways."

 

"You can protect yourself."

 

"You're right," Alex said.  "But sometimes I  _ do _ need help."

 

"And we'll always be here."   
  
"Stay until they get back?"

 

"I should get the paper--"

 

Alex gave him a stern look.  "Let's be honest.  You're not actually going to do that paperwork tonight.  You're just going to look at it and tell yourself you're going to do it, but you're going to really sit there and just stare at it for about forty-five minutes before you give up.  So, you might as well spend that time appreciate my non-coma state."

 

He smirked at that.  "You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

 

"Me too, me too."

 

"Do you want to talk about why you didn't wake?  What was holding you back?"  

 

Alex was quiet for a moment and she looked away from him, her smile slipping away.  "Why would you think something was holding me back?"

 

"You should have woken up after surgery."

 

"Maybe I just had a really screwy reaction to the anesthesia or something about the accident--"

 

J'onn was just staring at her when she looked back.

 

She sighed.  "It was too much to come back to."

 

"Because of what happened between you and Kara?"

 

Alex didn't know if he'd fully understand.  "Partly," she admitted sadly.  "I just couldn't live in a world where I had lost the rest of my family."

 

"You were never in danger of losing your mother or me."

 

And she knew he was right.

 

"But a sister is a different thing."

 

"I just almost lost her, I know what that felt like, and I could imagine how horrible a world would be without Kara in it...and I couldn't face it.  Even if I left the DEO so that she could still work as Supergirl with you, I just don't know what I'd do...I wouldn't feel like I was contributing how I wanted to...and it wouldn't be the life that I  _ wanted  _ and  _ loved _ ."

 

"We're just stronger together."

 

And they were.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You do realize that you just hugged me _ ten minutes _ ago."

 

Kara gasped and pulled back, but still was holding onto her sister.  "Are you  _ really _ complaining about my hugging?"

 

Alex just smiled.  "No."  She watched as Kara brightened.  " _ Never _ ."

 

She pulled her back and giggled.  

 

Eliza had gone home, but was still calling everyday just to check in.  

 

"Can we talk?" Kara asked.  Even though her sister's tone was bright, her eyes showed a bit of sadness.  Alex knew her sister and she knew this, and she also was fairly sure she knew where this was going.

 

It had been two weeks.

 

"You want to talk about what happened in my head," Alex said quietly as she tapped the side of her forehead.  They'd never gone into details after Kara had been pulled out of the Black Mercy.  Sure, she'd brought it up and explained why she'd imagined being on Krypton and Alex understood it.  It had stung a bit, but mostly the moment that she had finally found her sister and she'd said she had no sister.   _ That  _ was what had hurt her most.     
  
Kara just nodded.

 

"It's not your fault, you know that," Alex said gently.  She'd told her sister this...she didn't know how many times...over the past two weeks.  As much as she'd been worried about losing Kara, her entire world, it wasn't Kara's fault.  Alex had been the one who had killed Astra, who was having the internal battle about losing Kara, and in the end...it had all been an accident.  She had never thought that she'd be in a car accident.  

 

"But you didn't want to wake up."

 

Alex sighed and closed her eyes before opening them again and looking at her sister.  "I don't even know what you must think, Kara...but--"

 

"I didn't want to live without you."

 

Her breath caught and she just stared at Kara, her bright blue eyes filling with tears.  "I didn't want to live without you either," she whispered.  "What you saw, though--"

 

"Why was that door there?"

 

Alex knew that she'd ask about that.  At first, she didn't know why.  She'd been thinking about everything that had happened in her head for two weeks now.  Why her parents, J'onn, and her and Kara's younger selves had been there to protect her...that all made sense.  But Astra and Alura?  Why were they there?  It had taken her well over a week to figure it out.

 

"Because that's the life you  _ deserved _ , Kara," Alex whispered sadly.  "That's the life you had  _ wanted _ .  To live on Krypton with  _ your family _ ...and I can't blame you ever for wanting that.  I know that Astra made mistakes in her life and that she and your mother didn't see eye to eye, but you loved them both.  They were  _ your family _ \--"

 

" _ Alex _ \--"

 

"Please let me finish," she whispered as she stared at Kara.  Alex wasn't saying any of this to upset her.  Kara had wanted the truth, so Alex wanted to be truthful.  Her sister was quiet, so she continued.  "They were your family and that's  _ always _ going to be a part of you that I will never get to be part of.  As much as I've wanted to claim you as  _ my sister only _ , the truth of it is that you will  _ always _ be Kara Zor-El as well...that's a  _ part of you _ ...and I can't ever be part of it."   She wasn't mad, but it was hard to want to have this specific connection to Kara and not being able to.

 

Kara was quiet and the tears finally fell.  

 

Everything that had happened over the last several weeks felt to Alex, like the universe was trying to drive them apart.  Neither of them were going to let that happen and neither was J'onn.  "Maybe that's selfish of me--"

 

Before she could finish, Kara was squeezing her with another hug, but this one felt different.  Alex just held on and tried to keep her emotions in check.  There had been too many tears on everyone's part, she felt over the last several weeks and Alex just didn't  _ want _ to cry.  

  
"I have a prize for you," Kara whispered.

 

Alex smiled and even breathed out a laugh at that.  "A prize?"  She held back the tears and pulled back from the hug.  For a brief moment, it felt like everything she'd just said was going to disappear.

 

"You might think it's silly or not like it," Kara said a bit reluctantly.

 

That couldn't be farther from the truth.  No matter the prize that Kara had ever gotten her, she loved them all and they always came from the heart.  She'd tried to keep everyone over the years, though she didn't think Kara knew that.  "You know I'll love it," Alex insisted.  

 

Kara yanked on a chain that disappeared under her shirt until it revealed a tear-shaped silver locket that had a 'K' engraved on it.  "Before I left Krypton, my mother gave me her necklace.  I used to wear it only on days where I was having a really hard time, but I haven't worn it in a long time."  She pushed out a breath and looked down at the pendant as she held it.  "You and I have exchanged all kinds of prizes all over the years, normally because the other needed to be cheered up.  We've had those friendship bracelets that you have to just let fall off when they decide it's time."     
  
Kara smiled up at her.  "You said that you're not part of that part of my life, but Alex...if you knew my parents, you'd know that they would have adopted you into the House of El because you will always be my sister and you will always be part of my story."  Wrapping her fingers around the pendant, there was a faint click before Kara revealed that it opened.  It was a locket.  Inside there was a painted coat of arms for the House of El and then on the other side was a picture of the two of them, there was also a faint blue glow when it was opened.  She reached into her pocket and fished out a matching one, this one had an 'A' engraved on the front of it.  She presented it to her sister.  "For it to open, it's some kind of thermal DNA trigger."

 

"Winn?"

 

"Palmer Technologies, J'onn was helping me with connections to build it," Kara explained.  "A Curtis Holt."

 

"It's beautiful," Alex whispered as she held the open locket in her hand.  It was small enough that she could wear it under her clothing and it wouldn't show through and it wasn't  _ too _ fancy that she could wear it over (if she wanted) if she went out.  It was absolutely perfect in so many ways.  She grabbed her sister and pulled her into the hug this time, letting a couple of tears rolled down her cheeks.  "Thank you."

 

"I will always love you, Alex."

 

"I know."

 

There was a long period of hugging before Kara finally broke it up by speaking up.  "Are we still ordering in, eating ice cream, and binge watching--"

 

Alex laughed and squeezed her for a brief moment.  "Yes.   _ Always _ ."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The End.

  
  
  



End file.
